READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1665 guests online and 1 member online
Shorts
Prologue
By rantman
13 April 2007
I prefer first person, it seems easier, more natural, but I guess I've got to take a stab at third at some point.

"Do you know why I use a scalpel, Mr Braithwaite?"
 
Michael Braithwaite stared at the gleam of the fluorescent light in the small blade, but remained silent. He was barely conscious, nausea ebbed through him and he struggled to maintain focus. He was tied to an old typists chair with a telephone cord, but he had no idea where he was. The room was dank and musky, and had an unused basement feel about it. Michael searched his memory in an attempt to recall the events that lead to his current predicament, his mind a blur.
 
"Do you know?" The stranger repeated, a little more insistently, waving the blade slowly in front of Michael.
 
Michael grunted, and strained against his bonds.
 
"You may think that it is because the blade is so sharp..." The stranger's voice was a low rumble as he took a step forward, his eyes piercing, relentless.
 
"Or perhaps because it is so easily concealed..." Another step forward.
 
"Or maybe it is because a scalpel is made specifically for the purpose of cutting human flesh." The stranger moved in closer still.

Michael closed his eyes and tried to remove the image of the man with the scalpel from his mind, to wish himself somewhere else, somewhere safe.
 
"But it is for none of these reasons Mr Braithwaite," The stranger smirked, the blade dancing between them, "I use a scalpel because it takes time."  And ever so gently, he nicked the flesh below Michaels left eye. A thin line of blood welled to the surface.
 
"And time is something I have plenty of Mr Braithwaite, plenty!"

Reviews

Written by Janie (265 comments posted) 13th April 2007
i'd like to see you write a proper story with a plot and conflict and resolution.. the works!...you obviously can write and you have a 'vivid' imaginaton that could possibly rival stephen king's so stop messing and show us what you can do. ;)

Written by Phil (6383 comments posted) 15th April 2007
I liked some of the detail in this, and the situation. It was well enough written, but I feel like I've read this before - plenty of times. I don't mean you've copied - it's just not very original. Your other pieces were different and fresh (if a little disturbing) 
 
Perhaps first person suits the way you write, gives you a more intimate relationship with your characters and readers. Maybe third person just creates distance. 
 
Phil.
Yuk
Written by Asferthecat (789 comments posted) 16th April 2007
Thank god you stopped when you did - before his eyes were gouged out etc. I was hoping it would turn out that he was at his chiropodist, though I wasn't sure how you would explain the bonds. 
This did not gain by being written in the third person as nothing was described or felt that did not relate directly to the main character. 
Interesting work - keep writing

Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 16th April 2007
Yuk indeed! Well written and disturbing, but indeed not overly original, unless of course it turns out that he was being treated by a plastic surgeon after all, yet that would make the telephone cord and the dusk room a bit suspicious. 
If the man is actually not torturing him, this is original, otherwise it's just disturbing. Anyhow, it still leaves some questions open.

Written by rantman (4 comments posted) 17th April 2007
It isn't overly original I agree, and I am afraid torture was the strangers motive so nothing jumping out of the shadows there. I guess the question is, would you have turned the page if this was indeed the prologue to a novel?

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item