Great Writing - Home > Poetry > The Travellers
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1149 guests online and 8 members online
Poetry
The Travellers
By gutterkitty
15 April 2007
In February I took part in a school trip to Italy, and part of our visit included a tour of the crater of Solfatara. Here's something I wrote about the experience- slightly more exotic when poeticised, of course! The purgatory and hell bit is a reference to the Victorian sauna which had two sections, one a higher temperature than the other, (hence the nicknames).

We are the travellers.

We venture into mists
that cloak us with billowing scents.
The fog lies hotly,
condenses on our cheeks.

We throw rocks to watch the ground vibrate,
the heartbeat that echoes
from the rib-cage of the earth.
We know that all is hollow beneath our feet,
scooped out like the sky.

Wonder rolls our eyes,
makes them round. Each iris
reflects bubbling pools,
sulphur spat from the ground.
The cracked skin of the world.

We light newspaper
to unfurl the mist. We are magicians,
revealing the earth’s secret breath.
We have been to purgatory and hell,
stooped low in their Victorian heat.
Emerged with yellow dust in our hair,
and sweating brows, full of grins.

We have counted the teeth of the earth,
felt her warmth through our feet.
We have hollowed out the sky
and filled it with our heaven.

Reviews
Dante
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 15th April 2007
...would not have found reason to throw rocks at this !  
 
Well done .  
 
Of course you do have the background of the Shaky Isles to help with the inspiration , have you not ?  
 
I found the ribcage of the earth is a particularly striking image!  
 
patterjack

Written by Talisker (1336 comments posted) 16th April 2007
I quite like this - though not sure why. 
 
There is something in it, yet more that should be - if you now what I mean. Nice imagery. 
 
Oli

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 16th April 2007
Reading this I got a vivid image of the 'hells' -- bubbling sulfur hot springs -- of Japan, and that was even before reading your introduction. (I always read introductions after the piece itself and never before). This poem brought everything back to me. 
 
'The cracked skin of the world' and 'the teeth of the earth' really worked for me, as did so many images in this poem.

Written by ellipinnock (1795 comments posted) 17th April 2007
Not a lot more to add - like PJ I liked the rib cage of the earth image. 
 
Good one 
 
Elli

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item