READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1151 guests online and 3 members online
Poetry
Lentil Soup
By Talisker
16 April 2007
I started a job as a checkout assistant at the local Tesco hyperstore three weeks ago.  My colleagues seem to hate the job - I LOVE IT! 

Anyway, this is the first of an intended "Check these Out" series.  The morals of this one (for me) are;

"Whatever you do, do it as good as you can"
"Good service is about humanity"
"Remember, some customers may not hear another kind word today - this may be their only real, human interaction"

None of the above was covered during the induction day! (;->)

Oli

“Good afternoon madam!”


She is laden with years.


A tissue paper spectre

in too many clothes.

Yet sapphire eyes

still betray a sassy lass.


“How are you today?”


I scan her bag of lentils

then with my own eyes

the cobalt veins

on the back of her

trembling hand.


“Lentil soup?  Yum, yum!”


She sparkles again

those baby-blues

like ice aflame


“Enjoy the sunshine”


A nod and then a coin

proffered, bridging the years

Her thumb retains

the indentation

no elasticity


“And the soup, of course!”


Another smile

flirtatious

precious


Oli 16/04/07

Reviews
bless you
Written by fellpony (1659 comments posted) 16th April 2007
you must be a real ray of sunshine in there Oli. Loved the poem.

Written by Lizzy (822 comments posted) 16th April 2007
I liked the poem very much. 
I've been there behind those old ladies in the queue and wished that they'd get a move on. Next time I'll think about your poem and the fact that they might not see another smiley face that day! 
Thanks 
Lizzy

Written by Phil (6845 comments posted) 16th April 2007
Not chasing happiness, but doling it out. 
 
Liked it. 
 
Phil. :)
Nice change
Written by patterjack (1328 comments posted) 16th April 2007
Goodonyer , you check-out chick , you ! and not a thought there about popping gum in time with the clink of the till !  
 
patterjack  
 

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3450 comments posted) 16th April 2007
I hope they appreciate that they have a poet working for them..Perhaps you could put up a poem of the day on the till, something to read as they wait. It might start a trend. 
A lovely poem, thougthtful and humourous. I'm sure this situation will provide more poems from you. 
It's funny but it's always the men you get a cheery comment or smile from at the tills, mind you that is at the Co-op and they are all poets there 
cheers 
Jane

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 17th April 2007
I was a check-out chick for a while. Hated it mostly but oddly enough I used to like selling fags off the kiosk - bizarre really as I don't smoke and can't stand the things! 
 
You certainly get all sorts, I always used to wonder about some of them. 
 
Nice piece, especially the end. Very Oli, I liked it a lot. 
 
Elli

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 17th April 2007
Yup. Very nice indeed. And BBS' idea is a good one. That should certainly make you their favorite employee. On the other hand, that would also mean that everyone is going to stand in your queue. 
:grin

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item