READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 3067 guests online and 6 members online
Shorts
The Carcass
By jamesbadok
16 April 2007
This is a piece from a sequence of short stories entitled The Birth of Venus.

The Carcass
 

The final form Venus took was that of a beautiful red carcass hanging in a butcher's shop window. Her crucified limbs twitched with the joy of the meathook and her splayed ribcage offered itself, an open shell, to whoever passed in front of that grimy backstreet window. The black skies melted into rain on the passersby, driving them ever more furiously past Venus' window, but still they found time to incline an eye towards her splendid rawness. One man, a lonely old soul, stopped in his tracks and stared without blushing straight into her. She could feel the strength of his desire through the glass partition. She was the princess of the ball, the prom queen, the ravishing courtesan! The butcher's shop had become a theatre and she was the leading lady, elevated above an audience that (for now) demanded no action, just the simple pleasure of looking and longing.
 

But it wasn't all perfect. Martin, the butcher's son, was a horrible young man. Whenever his father was occupied at the back of the shop he would take a big knife and score a line in Venus' back, causing her unspeakable pain. He didn't know why he did it; he just couldn’t help himself. Poor Venus felt like a defenceless old lady when Martin attacked her, and hourly she counted her gashes with the trembling of a woman who knows the greatest violation is yet to come.

Reviews

Written by anorwegianwood (278 comments posted) 16th April 2007
This is weird. I like it. It's hard to get a grip on it since, as you said in your intro, it's really meant to be a part of a larger whole, but it's intriguing. I'd be interested to read more from this project. I think your descriptions are very well-written. I didn't think much of the phrase "the joy of the meathook," maybe because it reminds me of Bob Ross and The Joy of Painting. (That may just be me, though. ;) ) Overall, I thought it was an interesting part of a whole, and I'd certainly read more if you post it. 
 
~Claire
Hello James
Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 16th April 2007
Welcome. 
I enjoyed this piece and the surreal feel that it had, however it is difficult to really judge it because it is only a part of the whole (and presumably a latter part). Without knowing what has gone before, I too felt that 'joy of the meathook' was a strange phrase to use, and also didn't understand 'crucified limbs'. I know that in these days of halal and kosher meats that slaughter house methods have changed somewhat, but I am yet to come across crucifiction. 
I too would like to read more of 'Venus', however I would prefer to read it in a linear format. 
 
Best wishes 
Steve.
Original
Written by Asferthecat (834 comments posted) 25th April 2007
I've never heard of a meat carcass being the hero of a story before. I can't imagine what the slaughtering section read like. Where are the prequels? I am fascinated. Does anything come after - the joy of being eaten, perhaps?

Written by wltshr (314 comments posted) 4th May 2007
Intersting and weird. A hell of an inscription for anybody's tombstone. 
 
More please, I really would like to see this in more context. 
 
Regards 
 
Wltshr

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item