Poetry
For Rent
By genbilim
17 April 2007
The most I took you while going
It was the moving of my mind
Which was really compulsion for sentences from one stage to another
I had fallen from your eyes; my scars were a present from your eyes
I couldn’t manage to love, maybe to be loved
I had domestic sorrows blocking love
There was no lie in the eyes, only sound
The promises given was one, the swears said zero
The things gathered, the photos were ripped out from their places
And hung up the tag to the heart
A new love, which will erase the traces of love
Ordered again
For rent.

Reviews

Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 17th April 2007
Sorry to say - I don't have a clue. Could be me? 
 
Phil

Written by stevetroster (1907 comments posted) 18th April 2007
I agree with Phil. 
You lost me after the first line... 
"The most I took you while going" 
I must have been lost in translation!

Written by no1butClo (345 comments posted) 7th May 2007
I can feel something in this, but as the boys have said, you're abstract to the point of nonsense. There's definitely something important here, but it needs serious twesking 
 
please keep going with it 
 
clo

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item