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By jamesbadok
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17 April 2007 |
First Sadness
Little Voice felt sadness for the first time it oozed from under the mattress and coiled about his feet It seemed to him that the world was in mourning Won't someone nail my hands to the headboard, he thought, give me what I have earned But in truth he'd done nothing Nothing, just the ticking of the clock and the yellowing of his feet
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Written by Phil (6388 comments posted) 17th April 2007 | Sorry, I must have my stupid head on tonight. The last three poems I've read - including two of yours, mean little to me. I'll happily confess it could be me. However, while I know poetry is not always my strong suit, I would expect to get a little more than this. Nothing wrong with having to work a little for meaning, but to be so opaque....? Maybe other reviewers will come along and reveal my ignorance, or maybe not. Sorry. Phil. | reminded Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 17th April 2007 | of the graphic novel 'The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy' but i'm not sure why. seems regretful and slightly twisted clo | Written by stevetroster (1398 comments posted) 18th April 2007 | It's like 'Footy' does poetry. Love the way it reads, but have not got a clue what it is about. I must try some myself. | Phew. Written by Phil (6388 comments posted) 18th April 2007 | Glad it's not just me then. I was getting a little worried. I'm with Steve - even though I haven't a clue, it does read very well. I know that sounds stupid - but there you go. Phil. | Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 24th April 2007 | It's that third section that does it I think...bit confusing. But again I liked this - worth working on the clarity a little. Elli |
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