And Words Were Had

Sarah kept crying all the way to Aunt Clara's and I know that we all wished that we could cry right along with her. It was starting to get dark now and I knew if we had been at home we would have probably been getting ready for bed.

I thought about my bedroom that I shared with Tom at home. I thought about my Ninja Turtle sheets. I thought about the way that Mama always left our doors kind of open and the hall light on so that we wouldn't trip in the dark if we had to run away from monsters. I thought about how tonight going to sleep wouldn't feel the same as it did all the other nights I could remember. I wondered where I would be when I woke up tomorrow. I thought about how scary it was when Daddy was mad at you. None of this was my fault but Daddy was probably mad at me anyway. Suddenly, I was feeling really mad at Mama. How could she do this?

"Maybe we should go home, Mama." I said.

Right after I said that, I felt very scared. I remembered the time in Sears when Tom kept stepping on the backs of my shoes and so I let go of his hand and he got lost. I remembered how Mama was so mad she spanked me in the middle of the store. So when Mama turned to look at me, I was afraid that she would be just as mad that I
had said we should go home.

But instead of yelling or spanking, she said "Jr I can't live with your daddy anymore. I can't explain why but that's just how it is. I know it means that things are going to be different and I know you don't want them to be. But sometimes even though change can hurt at first, we end up finding out that it is for the best. I love you and your brother and sisters very much. And so I am doing what I think is best. I am very sorry if it is hurting you and I will do my best to fix that hurt. But I am not going back to live with your daddy."

"You don't love me. If you did, you wouldn't do things that hurt me. Especially when you don't have to do them." I said.

I folded my arms and looked out the window. Mama didn't say anything. After a long time, I looked back at her and saw she was crying. I felt bad. I didn't want to make her cry but I told myself that she couldn't be very upset because she was still driving
towards Aunt Clara's.