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Modern Neville Chamberlains |
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By Fledermaus
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21 April 2007 |
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The knights that once had to protect our land
Had turned into a lazy quarr'ling band
Instead of leading, they fought eachother
'bout criminals they did not bother
And when the monster arrived at the gate
They at last realized it was to late |
Written by Janie (265 comments posted) 21st April 2007 | it goes 10, 10, 10, 9, 10, 10. although i'm not sure it matters as it's flow that counts... for me at any rate....just my opinion but reckon
The knights that once had to protect our land
would roll better as...
The knights that once protected our land
i liked this, it had a kind of allegorical quality to it...i just made my own 'other' story up as i thought this could work well with many kinds of establishments. ain't it always the way that we find out the monster has arrived when it's too late.
| Hi Batty
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 21st April 2007 | The offending line-
'bout criminals they did not bother
Rectified
About criminals they did not bother.
We all seem to be in a very figurarive allegorical mood at the moment.
Brian |
Written by Fledermaus (3506 comments posted) 23rd April 2007 | Thanks Janie and Brian,
Janie: Thanks for pointing it out. I usually try to count syllables, so I suppose I must have counted them wrongly here. And indeed your line flows better, but it has 9 syllables again.
Brian: You're right. Same thing as Janie above remarked. I must have counted them wrongly.
Before this one I had a much bigger thing posted, much more soabboxy. But it had a weird rhyme scheme and was perhaps a bit too nasty.
The main idea was that because the old parties are too busy playing their political games (What's the difference between liberals and socialists nowadays?), they are to blame for the rise of right extremism in Europe.
If the moderate parties had been strong and efficient in dealing with problems like criminality and corruption, the populist extremists wouldn't have had the slightest chance. Politicians should learn their history lessons.
It's weak and ineffective governments that provide opportunities for twisted radicals with a sharp tongue. |
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