Ubique Vade Mecum
He carefully unfolds his ragged map
and notes the roads that once he undertook.
The squares are roughly frayed ; all badly creased
with junctions mostly broken , each advance
so wide , the ways no longer can be found.
He has no wish to fall into the trap
to seek again those phantoms he forsook ,
or reach where any further progress ceased
to add more knowledge to his present stance
and nothing's left but breaking of new ground .
But still there's time to take a firmer hold :
to make a sally meaningful and bold,
with luck to let the final tale unfold ;
to find at last the fabled lands of gold .
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Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 23rd April 2007 |
Latin: Go with me? It's been a long time since I studied Latin - and then for only a year. The net does help.
As you know, I often lack courage when it come to interpretation - but my reading of this is sad yet hopeful. I can't help but feel that 'the fabled lands of gold' refer to one last triumph before the end. The whole thing a metaphor for one life's journey.
As my understanding stands, I think this is excellent. I like the subtle rhyme of the first ten lines: spread enough to almost miss them. The repeating rhyme at the end builds intensity. I don't suppose I can give you credit for inventing the sonnet, but you certainly chose a form that fitted your ideas perfectly.
If my understanding is way off, let me know and I'll write another review!
Phil.
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 23rd April 2007 |
The only latin I know is church latin. The only line I remember was "Ite missa est" [it that's right] For years I thought it meant Breakfast time.
I'm not going to comment on the stucture. If you say it's a sonnet that's good enough for me.
I suppose this is what ties all people together wherever on the journey you are. It's that possibly foolish but essentially optomistic and definantly hopeful need to go on looking for that land of gold [whatever we choose it to be] When you stop looking you give up on life. I'm glad to see you haven't.
Maybe we are even a bit wary of finding it.
They say it is better to travel hopefully than to arrive.. I hadn't really thought of it like that and maybe you didn't mean that but now that the thougth has been seeded I can't get it out of my head. We're strange creatures; optomism is, perhaps our greatest folly but also our defining quality
Perhaps this should have been a PM it's a bit long and rambling
cheers
Jane
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"go everywhere with me ..."
Written by fellpony (1749 comments posted) 23rd April 2007 |
hence "everywhere sonnet". Most of my retained Latin is gardening Latin with a bit of church; when i did A level I failed it.
If you find El Dorado, Brian, will there be time for another poem before you leave?
Are you practising a new development of the sonnet? this is an interesting and well managed rhyme scheme!
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No intention, FP...
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 23rd April 2007 |
...of leaving for elDorado even if perchance it could be equated with Shangri Lah -- for which I did not seek rhymes anyway .
There are obvious reasons for staying here I should think .
Not trying to invent new sonnet forms -- just playing with words , avoiding ragged poetic prose for a while and wondering if one particular pedant would pick me up on questions of rhyme and metre --not to mention rhythym
Thanks for commenting on that rhyme form . Appreciated !
patterjack
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Phil and Jane
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 23rd April 2007 |
Thanks for those comments . I really appreciate what you both have to say about the content . That developed of its own accord -- a bit out of my control , I feel. Happened when form took over and led my thinking after the first metaphor was implied .
And no , it is certainly not in regular sonnet form , though I am sure somebody else would have used it at some other time . A fun development .
But I did try to keep the meter and emphases regular |
Reminds me .........
Written by Bagheera (685 comments posted) 24th April 2007 |
....... of a song by the late, great Alex Campbell which includes the line: ♪♪ "And I waltzed my Matilda all over ... " ♪♪
When you've done that, there are [of course!] many blurred, worn and indistinct edges to any maps you've used time and again over the years..... |
Written by mmSeason (32 comments posted) 11th May 2007 |
This is lovely. No quibbles except the line "to make a sally meaningful and bold" with its inversion unnatural to modern speech. How about "to make my progress meaningful and bold" (or "sally" if you still prefer)?
Bagheera: ♪♪ "And I waltzed my Matilda all over ... " ♪♪ - isn't that a Pogues song?
mand |
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