Some of you guys are so good at putting accents across on the page that I thought I'd try and have a crack at Hooray Henrys.
As you all know,what you hear in your head when you read it may not be what someone else hears. (Edit: In view of some of the comments below I suggest reading it out to aid clarity.)
This is really only an exercise so your opinions would be gratefully received.
Setting: A modern art gallery in Knightsbridge. Toby is holding a glass of wine and studying a painting. Enter Jolyon.
Jolyon: Air hair lair
Toby: Oh! Hello, Jolyon. How the devil? Haven’t seen you since eights week.
Jolyon: Not too nasty. Ta v’ry much.
Toby: What are you um…?
Waitress: Excuse me sir would you like a glass of wine?
Jolyon: No thanks. Drivin'! Javny cake?
Toby: I’m not sure sir. I’ll go and find out.
Jolyon: Thanks orfly.
Toby: Well um… What are you….er?
Jolyon: Sara said pop along. Free scoff. Laugh at the piccys.
Toby: Yes. Well. Fifty thighs and this one.
Jolyon: What!?! Fifty thighs and pines? For thet? Don’t be so dem silly.
Toby: Straight up, old chum.
Jolyon: No dogs, horses, or relatives? Who’d want the dem thing?
Toby: Quite right old man, quite right.
Waitress: I’m terribly sorry sir, we don’t have any cake. We have biscuits.
Jolyon: Biskits? Biskits? No! Cake! D’ye hev any Cake? You know. Cake-a caylah
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Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 24th April 2007 |
Well I had to read it twice to understand what they were talking about - pretty bloody accurate then I'd say.
The highlight of this being:
"Fifty thighs and pines"
Many years h'ago h'I was h'acquainted with some la-de-da types from South Ken' don'tya know. I remember a pimms party where one of the young fillies was lying out on a stripey sun-lounger doing an absolutely wonderful impersonation of a lobster. So along comes the young Lord, so obviously up for a bit of skirt, and says "Oh I say, your going orfley brarn" Happy days! I'm fairly certain that that was the party where I broke his nose! Can't be absolutely certain mind you, one society bash is very much the same as the next. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 24th April 2007 |
Yes I think you got the accent off fairly well. Accents are the very devil to script which is why I avoid them.
That young scamp Steve picked up on my favourite line ,it reads perfectly.
I remember there was a little book called "How to speak Fraffly" As in "Thet was fraffly good" It claimed to get you talking like a toff. This reminded me of it
cheers
J |
Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 24th April 2007 |
Yep, enjoyed this. Glad you avoided the Tim nice but dim route.
Phil. |
Written by coosh (868 comments posted) 24th April 2007 |
Some considerable time ago, I worked in a large store in Kensington (London not Liverpool) and a guy came in and asked for "cartons". I tried milk, eggs and fruit juice, before he exploded and told me it was "cartons for hanging in windows". He even had the gall to complain about the luxury retail trade "now employing people with accents"!
As an exercise, I think you succeeded, although I am reliably informed that, in the real world, there is no need to go mad in terms of scripting accents, since actors are cast specifically for the part, and their ability to follow instructions. |
Written by wltshr (314 comments posted) 25th April 2007 |
Thanks everyone. The reviews are worth a thighs and pines of anyone's money.
Steve- How lovely to be invited to parties as the "bit of rough".
Jane - Glad you liked it. I think I'll leave accents to others in future and concentrate on the content.
Phil - Thanks for your comments. Me, I'd rather have a laugh at the confusion caused by differing accents than the people themselves.
Coosh - I didn't even know there was a Kensington in Liverpool! I think I'll follow your advice. The problem perhaps I found is that you have to work so hard to translate it onto paper.
And to think there wouldn't have been a sketch at all if only he'd asked for a Pepsi.
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Written by Signa (66 comments posted) 25th April 2007 |
| Mwa ha ha ha! It took me a while to get the fifty thighs and pines but when I did I thought it was great! |
Written by wltshr (314 comments posted) 25th April 2007 |
Thanks Signa, glad you enjoyed it.
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Ebsolutely smeshing!
Written by Clifftown (620 comments posted) 25th April 2007 |
I love the name Jolyon. You just know he's not going to be living on a council estate with a name like that...
Really enjoyed this, just the right length and the accents were spot-on. |
Written by Lizzy (800 comments posted) 25th April 2007 |
With everyone else.
Did need a few readsto get the accents but then all was obvious, and very funny.
Lizzy |
Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 26th April 2007 |
Having just written a script with an accent I know how much work it can be. I think you got good value from this one, you've made the most of the potential for misunderstandings.
Cheers. |
Written by wltshr (314 comments posted) 26th April 2007 |
Thank you so much for your comments.
Clifftown- I once knew a Jolyon. Lovely chap. Old Harrovian. Luckily he was built like a brick outhouse. No one took the mickey out of his name.
Lizzy - Did you read out loud? Did anyone hear?
Livinginanattic - Follow Jane's and Coosh's advice. Let the actors worry about the accents. |
Okay....
Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 26th April 2007 |
so you right a comedy script that is totally reliant on exaggerated accents, you post it on a site for people to 'READ IT', but you post it straight without emphasising the accents!
Sounds bloody hilarious!
Peter Sellers - Pink Panther:
"Is this your monkey?"
Oh God, my sides ache... NOT. |
Written by wltshr (314 comments posted) 27th April 2007 |
Sorry Steve. I wasn't terribly clear.
If a piece is dependent on class/regional accents and the confusion they cause, there is, of course, no choice but to write in them.
If, however, you've written a funny piece that can carry itself, but happens to be set in a regional, or class, setting perhaps you don't need to work so hard to put those accents on the page.
Wltshr |
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