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Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 24th April 2007 |
Does it? I intend to go out screaming, accompanied by 'Earth Day' by Devin Townsend; at which point I will take his advice and "Shut the #### up" for all eternity. But then that's just me.
This sounded like a bit of a rap! Nothing wrong with that. Is it a pop at noisy youth?
Personally I hate those boombastic bass boxes or whatever they call them, the things that they fit in cars to make them sound like mobile earthquakes! |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 24th April 2007 |
Thanks ST.
Does it sound like rap? I didn't intend it, but it'd suit the theme nicely. Somehow I think that with certain types of music the loudness is inverted to the listener's self esteem... |
Written by Janie (265 comments posted) 24th April 2007 |
| this put me in mind of someone who puts on a different persona to hide behind...behind the big gob is a shivering meek thing who wouldn't say boo to casper the ghost sort of thing...a coping strategy if you will...yes very thought provoking in just a few lines...well done. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3351 comments posted) 24th April 2007 |
I thought it was an interesting comment on how we use and are affected by noise but for me you spoiled it by going all didactic at the end. I just don't like being told what I should do and even more so when it is to pray. I don't think that's what poems are for,perhaps the poets, here disagree.
But as has been said, thought provoking.
cheers
Jane |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 24th April 2007 |
Liked the last line line. A very good way to end it all (pun intended) With Jane on the didactic bit, even if I've been guilty of it myself once or twice.
Personally, I hate noise. I love peace.
Phil. |
Hi Batty
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 24th April 2007 |
I'd be very tempted to cut out lines 5+6. The rhyme is weak out/loud and the couplet interupts your main theme, Brashness to hide meekness
You can't live without noise
You have to raise your voice
You think you are so tough
If you scold and talk rough
Because you're very scared
For silence you're unprepared
You shout your fear away
But you'd much better pray
Brian |
HI Fledermaus
Written by jean.day (2279 comments posted) 24th April 2007 |
| I like it. And am not worried about the praying and silence and such. It's interesting to think that those who like loud music and noises are afraid of it being quiet. |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 25th April 2007 |
Thanks everyone.
Janie: Yes, that's the idea. I doubt if anyone with such a lifestyle can be a happy person.
BBS: You're probably right that the second last line is too much of a soapbox. I blame it on a month of struggling with the translation of a medieval Breton poem, which was all about vanity and death.
Phil: I bet I've been guilty of it a few times too. Yet it's cowardish, making so much noise that one doesn't have to listen...
Brian: Thanks for the advice. Somehow this started out with people not only being afraid of silence, but also of darkness and I thought of where those 'tough guys' go at night. But you're right, it seems a bit out of place now.
Jean: I do think that's the idea behind noisy people. Either they want to draw attention or they want to lock out the world. And in either way they're unhappy... |
Noise
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 25th April 2007 |
| I disagree: I think we could live without noise - - - but we'd have to move to a desert island - and even there, would you find silence? I live on the edge of a town, but by the countryside too - and this morning at 5 pm awoke to hear a noise which I am sure you would all love. The dawn chorus. By 6 pm it seemed as if the whole bird population was celebrating the arrival of spring, Noise? Love it! ha ha Prayer? It really works, so keep it up! |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 25th April 2007 |
Thanks Josie,
But that's a different kind of noise. This is of course about humans, not birds  |
Written by Signa (66 comments posted) 25th April 2007 |
I think Brian's suggestion is good - it really improves it.
It's a good point you make about human noise.
I don't care for the praying line either but I think it's very important to have some time alone every now and again. No talking, no TV, no radio, no music. Just peace and quiet. It's good for the soul.
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Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 28th April 2007 |
| Thanks Signa. It somtimes seems as if all this noise is just made so one doesn't have to listen anymore... |
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