Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Les Fleurs du Malaise
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 2096 guests online and 15 members online
Poetry
Les Fleurs du Malaise
By patterjack
26 April 2007
Les Fleurs  du  Malaise

Baudelaire  for    me  has said  it  all --
though  I confess   I  have  not  read  a  line 
of  his  that's   found    in  the   original  ,
but  made his  arbitrary   statement mine
by  looking  outwards through  another's  eyes
to  see  with  jaundiced  vision  all  that's  there ;
not  truly worth  much to  me as a  prize ,
but brings  me  to  his  level  of  despair  .

As  hypocrite lecteur  I've  read  and  then re- read
my  works  themselves  and many kind   reviews .                                                             
But I  find that self  assessment  leaves  me   hollow;
and  feeling  this  I  know  that  it  must  follow
that  sooner   or  later   I  may  have  to   choose
to  destroy  them  all  and  find  new  ways  to  tread  .


Reviews
Sorry folks
Written by patterjack (1196 comments posted) 26th April 2007
Particularly Josie Phil and Witzl who reviewed this stuff before  
 
I hit a delete button when trying to change a word ! 
 
patterjack the drongo

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 26th April 2007
I do that all the time, Brian! I have managed to delete so many things without even trying -- there is that brief moment when you see that awful little hourglass and you know you're screwed, but you can't do a thing about it, no matter how you panic. And my review was pretty pathetic anyway. I confess to being largely ignorant of Baudelaire -- hope that doesn't get me into trouble and lose me any literary points. I do remember that he thought that being immoral was easier than being virtuous, and this has always seemed to me to be one of those 'we hold these truths to be self evident' issues.  
 
As for despair, I would warn you away from it if I could -- Baudelaire's or anyone else's! A good, thoughtful poem, nevertheless.
moody...
Written by mmSeason (32 comments posted) 26th April 2007
I have read Baudelaire - which may lose me some "cool" points! - and this does capture his "After all that, hardly worth it" atmosphere. Hope you come out of it soon Brian! 
 
If anything the poem is a little long for what it expresses, but still you do a good job of holding the form together that long which i would struggle with. 
 
mand

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 26th April 2007
I'm pleased to see you have moved from a dead language to a living one for a title [even if it is French] 
I had to read it twice to catch the rhyme pattern which was really subtle and I don't usually comment on structure. 
I don't know Baudelaire but he sounds like one of those people who mistakes misanthropy for perception. 
 
I think it is only the terminally deluded who think their work is wonderful. Ithink it is the mark of the artist to aspire to improve and the work in progress always holds the promise of perfection which makes you look at old work with a very critical and jaundiced eye. But then is it written for you or others to enjoy? 
They accept it for what it is not what you hoped it would be. Once again you started off a chain of thought that will contiue after this review . It's helped me, though i suspect not you 
cheers 
Jane
Thanks again reviewer folks..,
Written by patterjack (1196 comments posted) 26th April 2007
... for your patience ! 
 
One thing surprises me though -- nobody jumped on the title ! and I worked so hard on the pun :grin  
 
I confess to be not very familiar at all with most of Monsieur B's work -- even if we share birthdays as Witzl pointed out in her first review . 
 
patterjack 
 

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 26th April 2007
You mean a pun on -La plume de ma tante, no?-- thought not. 
It's always the way though, you spend ages getting one special bit right and the buggers all ignore it and comment on something else. Reminds me of Noel Coward's comment that he could spend hours perfecting urbane witty repartee without a laugh and one use of the word "knickers" would have them rolling in the aisles 
You must remember who you are dealing with here,Brian. 
jane

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item