Les Fleurs du Malaise
Baudelaire for me has said it all --
though I confess I have not read a line
of his that's found in the original ,
but made his arbitrary statement mine
by looking outwards through another's eyes
to see with jaundiced vision all that's there ;
not truly worth much to me as a prize ,
but brings me to his level of despair .
As hypocrite lecteur I've read and then re- read
my works themselves and many kind reviews .
But I find that self assessment leaves me hollow;
and feeling this I know that it must follow
that sooner or later I may have to choose
to destroy them all and find new ways to tread .
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Sorry folks Written by patterjack (1196 comments posted) 26th April 2007 |
Particularly Josie Phil and Witzl who reviewed this stuff before I hit a delete button when trying to change a word ! patterjack the drongo |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 26th April 2007 |
I do that all the time, Brian! I have managed to delete so many things without even trying -- there is that brief moment when you see that awful little hourglass and you know you're screwed, but you can't do a thing about it, no matter how you panic. And my review was pretty pathetic anyway. I confess to being largely ignorant of Baudelaire -- hope that doesn't get me into trouble and lose me any literary points. I do remember that he thought that being immoral was easier than being virtuous, and this has always seemed to me to be one of those 'we hold these truths to be self evident' issues. As for despair, I would warn you away from it if I could -- Baudelaire's or anyone else's! A good, thoughtful poem, nevertheless. |
moody... Written by mmSeason (32 comments posted) 26th April 2007 |
I have read Baudelaire - which may lose me some "cool" points! - and this does capture his "After all that, hardly worth it" atmosphere. Hope you come out of it soon Brian! If anything the poem is a little long for what it expresses, but still you do a good job of holding the form together that long which i would struggle with. mand |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 26th April 2007 |
I'm pleased to see you have moved from a dead language to a living one for a title [even if it is French] I had to read it twice to catch the rhyme pattern which was really subtle and I don't usually comment on structure. I don't know Baudelaire but he sounds like one of those people who mistakes misanthropy for perception. I think it is only the terminally deluded who think their work is wonderful. Ithink it is the mark of the artist to aspire to improve and the work in progress always holds the promise of perfection which makes you look at old work with a very critical and jaundiced eye. But then is it written for you or others to enjoy? They accept it for what it is not what you hoped it would be. Once again you started off a chain of thought that will contiue after this review . It's helped me, though i suspect not you cheers Jane |
Thanks again reviewer folks.., Written by patterjack (1196 comments posted) 26th April 2007 |
... for your patience ! One thing surprises me though -- nobody jumped on the title ! and I worked so hard on the pun I confess to be not very familiar at all with most of Monsieur B's work -- even if we share birthdays as Witzl pointed out in her first review . patterjack
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 26th April 2007 |
You mean a pun on -La plume de ma tante, no?-- thought not. It's always the way though, you spend ages getting one special bit right and the buggers all ignore it and comment on something else. Reminds me of Noel Coward's comment that he could spend hours perfecting urbane witty repartee without a laugh and one use of the word "knickers" would have them rolling in the aisles You must remember who you are dealing with here,Brian. jane |
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