Reposted, taking into account the comments from its original incarnation (which I've left because I'm lazy). | Rice: | | <<Look, another one is there. How many weeks do you think?>> | | Jade Blossom: | | <<I think maybe is thirty weeks. Less than me.>> | | Rice: | | <<She looks young.>> | | Jade Blossom: | | <<and poor>> | | Rice: | | <<pity.>> | | Jade Blossom: | | <<there are lots like that here. Why don't they cut?>> | | Rice: | | <<Why don't you? We're not rich here. And this is not China: most people won't cut, even if they really can't look after.>> (Rice nods towards Jade Blossom's bump)
| | Jade Blossom: | | <<it's different. We're married. Where is that girl's husband? >> | | Rice: | | << Not everyone marries here. Some don't know the father. Do you?>> | | Jade Blossom: | | << Mental disorder you! Who do I know here? >> | | Rice: | | (laughing)<< Low person! It's good - green hats don't suit me. >> (Jade Blossom laughs) | | Rice: | | << Look at that one! Big whale! Baby must be nearly born, neh? >> | | Jade Blossom: | | << small-rice, I don't think she's pregnant >> | | Rice: | | << Really? So she's... >> | | Jade Blossom: | | << Deadly fat, yes. Like me >> | | Rice: | | << Fat? That's our son! Fat boy? (Rice prods the bump, which kicks back) Ha, each of her legs are bigger than you! >> |
Sitting in front of the two are two old women. One breaks off her conversation and turns to the couple. | Woman: | | er, er excuse me, sorry. | | Rice: | | Yes? | | Woman: | | oh, er ah what language was that you were speaking? Was that Chinese or er Man-dar-rin? | | Rice: | | Closest to Mandarin Chinese. Local language.
| | Woman: | | (rapidly) oh how wonderful, where are you from? I've always wanted to visit China! I've been to Japan, what do you think of Japan? I have a friend who lives in Northampton who speaks Mandarin so I thought it sounded similar. He's a teacher, teaches Chinese to children at infant school. It's very popular now, you know? | | Jade Blossom: | | (confused expression)<<She says what?>> | | Rice: | | <<She says she has a friend who teaches Chinese to small school. And something about Japan. I didn't understand - strange voice. >> | | Jade Blossom: | | <<Could I do that?>> | | Rice: | | <<I don't see why not. Maybe must learn about English schools, first. >> | | Woman: | | (breaking in) Um, her would you have a look at this? (roots around in her capacious handbag. Pulls out a dog-eared, battered book, with "Good news for all nations" on the cover. She turns to a particular page) | | Woman: | | Where did you say you were from again? | | Rice: | | Blossom is from a small town near the old capital. I'm from somewhere else. | | Jade Blossom: | | (reading) <<this is what?>> | | Rice: | | <<Christian-path. Jesus speaks on the middle mountain. >> | | Jade Blossom: | | <<Looks funny. It says Jesus gives ten thousand people fish congee with only one fish and tells them low people will own all land.>> | | Rice: | | << Ha! Here it says we can do bad things and Jesus gets the blame. >> | | Jade Blossom: | | << Crazy! So where is the incentive to be a good person? Is this badly translated? >> | | Rice: | | (reading) <<No, it says the same in English.>> | | Jade Blossom: | | (deadpan) <<She believes this?>> | | Rice: | | <<Must do.>> | | Woman: | | (smiling expectantly) So? Did you like it? |
Rice gives the book back to the woman. | Rice: | | We are not sure what this is, it is difficult to understand. | | Woman: | | The Lord's truth is not always easy to understand. He tests us. But it's good, yes? | | Jade Blossom: | | It is a little bit crazy... | | Rice: | | (Gives Jade Blossom a warning glare) Maybe not a good translation. | | Jade Blossom: | | << Maybe only small children believe this >> | | Rice: | | << Like your feng shui? >> (Jade Blossom slumps back, pouting) | | Woman: | | (crestfallen) oh, maybe. It says a lot in English. Very meaningful. |
The nurse comes out to call for Jade Blossom. | Jade Blossom: | | Perhaps we'll read it later, then. In English. |
Much later. | Jade Blossom: | | <<small-rice?>> | | Rice: | | <<Yes, small-flower?>> | | Jade Blossom: | | <<Was the only reason that woman spoke to us because she wanted us to be Jesus-path people?>> | | Rice: | | <<I don't know. Maybe.>> | | Jade Blossom: | | <<How rude.>> |
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3351 comments posted) 26th April 2007 | As you say a snippet of life, plucked out from an ongoing story. The most interesting thing for me was highlighting the cultural differences and speech patterns; what is and isn't acceptable polite behaviour. I was also intrigued by the relationship of the two characters and would have like to know more. I like the use of brackets for own language and thougth more use could have been made of it [ insulting the Christian woman and then translating it as interest] You could do a lot more with this, I think
cheers
jane |
Written by rui (150 comments posted) 26th April 2007 | Jane, thanks for commenting.
"[ insulting the Christian woman and then translating it as interest]" It's a theme I should play with, but that would represent Rice and Jade-blossom as thoroughly unpleasant people. Knowing them as well as I do, they're not so cruel as that. They'd never forgive me  |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 29th April 2007 | I think this is better than #1 as you've expanded the first part to allow us to get to know Rice and Jade Blossom a little more. I can see the humour in this, but it is clear it's not a comedy piece - that wasn't apparent before either. As Jane says, the exploration of cultural differences and language use is really fascinating.
Enjoyed very much.
Phil. |
Written by Goddess (124 comments posted) 29th April 2007 | I liked this very much! I was completely hooked from the start. I have family in Germany and you always wonder what happens when they talk in German - are they talking about you?
You really get an insight to human nature and it really does feel like a 'snippet of life' as you put it. A general conversation that could have been said anywhere. I liked the religious references, I thought that was a nice touch!
Good work! See you around.  |
Written by rui (150 comments posted) 30th April 2007 | Thanks Phil, Goddess.
As Jane suggested in the first comment I could do more with this but I'm not entirely sure how. I've not written a script since I was in school. This was just something that happened in recent history, which was floating around my mind for a few days and did seem appropriate for script-format.
Goddess: it's human nature, if two people have a language that you don't share, they'll use it to discuss the bits they don't want you to hear. Learn German without telling them, if you want to listen in | Even better!
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 1st May 2007 | This one is even better 
The two girls are even ruder and the Christian is even pushier. I think especially the line "Ha! Here it says we can do bad things and Jesus gets the blame." is brilliant.
Hopefully we'll hear more from Rice and Jade Blossom? For I'm looking forward to them making their rudest remark ever to someone who actually understands it |
Written by rui (150 comments posted) 1st May 2007 | Thanks bian1 fu2 :D
I'm puzzled as to why you assume it's two girls speaking? More may come from Rice and Jade Blossom if I can put them in any more amusing scrapes. Electoral canvassers could be fun :D
Just from the other version, the "good news to all nations" book is real, though I may not have remembered the title. It's a few passages of the Bible taken out of context and written in about 50 languages: the real life inspiration for the Christian nut was... a Christian nut whose mission was to go and convert the "heathen". (And I thought Heathenism was extinct). |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 2nd May 2007 | This was a lot of fun, but I am puzzled about the green hat. There is obviously an interesting cultural reference here that I have missed. Translation, please!
I do realize that this was not intended to be a comedy script, but I think you could easily make it into one! There were some very funny moments, and as Jane has said, you could do even more with this. (I once had a Korean roommate who used to smile and wave to Hell's Angels, thinking they were fine, strapping young men -- and they had such nice motorcycles!) The electoral canvassers are a great idea, as are sales people.
The Japanese versions of this woman used to come to our door from time to time in Japan with religious tracts. My husband, whose Japanese was limited, would sometimes wake me up to come and talk with them. He quickly learned who they were... The ladies exasperated me, but I did feel a little sorry for them: they were so convinced that they were offering me something I needed and should have. | On green hats
Written by rui (150 comments posted) 2nd May 2007 | >>An-xin (f) was very much in love with Tie-jun (m) but they lived in different cities: her work as a police officer kept her away. One drunken evening, in a moment of weakness, An-xin slept with Mao-jie, the costume salesman. Imagine her horror when soon after she missed a period!
The wedding was hastily arranged, Tie-jun made a wonderful blushing groom and both families were well-pleased with the match. They were even happier when An-xin gave Tie-jun a son, every father's dream! Only, when the child was a year old, people started to whisper. By two years, people spoke openly that the son didn't look much like the father. To prove them wrong, Tie-jun bought a paternity test, and to nobody's surprise, it came back that he wasn't the father. He "wore the green hat".>Yu Guan Yin - on PCNE every day at 6.30pm |
Written by rui (150 comments posted) 2nd May 2007 | Ah, for some reason the forum software truncated the comment:
To give someone the green hat: to cuckold someone
To wear the green hat: to be cuckolded. |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 2nd May 2007 | Hi Rui.
Seems I learn a new Mandarin word with every work of yours I read. I didn't know what a 'bat' was before (I'm still at beginners level...  ).
I probably thought they were two girls because of the way they talked about the other people, rather like gossip.
Re-reading it I supose they're husband and wife, but that becomes mainly clear from the green hat remark, which I didn't understand before you explained it (heard it once, but had no idea what it meant).
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Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 2nd May 2007 | | I confess that I also thought these were two girls at first! Then I saw 'That's our son' and clued in, but if I'd glossed over that, I would have still thought that these were two young women, as there is a gossipy tone to their conversation. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 2nd May 2007 | | And thank you, Rui, for explaining about the green hat -- yet another new thing that I have learned... |
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