Just a bit of fun. I don't believe (all of) this. The problem with this sort of thing is knowing when to stop. Flat caps, Yorkshire pud etc etc ad infinitum. Us Yorkshire folk have given the world so much and asked for so little in return.
Phil: branch president, Yorkshiremen abroad, Lancs division.
(Some strong language.)
Buried in the inside pages of the Yorkshire Post: space given to minority parties during the run up to local elections.
Ebagum lad! Tek a look a’ this.
Sick of Southern pufters running t’country?
Fed up o’ all tha’ soft blether comin’ out o’ Westminster?
Does tha not understand what a volauvent’s for?
Has tha got one o’ them Southern types buying up property next to thee?
‘As tha ever felt tha’s losin’ thy identity?
Does tha think England should ‘ave a Yorkshire man at openin’ bat?
Then vote fo’ us.
The Yorkshire Liberation Organisation.
Ay up comrade.
‘Ere’s wha’ we’ll do:
• Reclaim them bits o’ Yorkshire them bastards took of en us in t' seventies.
• Build a wall ten miles South o’ Barnsley and shoot any Southern sort who tries to enter - unless the’ve paid goin' rate o’ £500 a visit.
• Mek Grimethorpe our capital. It’s got fuck all to recommend it but when foreign dignitries cum to visit we can chuck ‘em down pit ‘ead when we’re done wi’ ‘em.
• Transport Harrogate, brick by brick, back down South. It’s a well ‘idden secret tha’ it got put there by t’roundheads to bring some so called Southern culture.
• Put ferrit ‘andlin’ back ont’ Nation Curriculum.
So when them other politicians come knockin’ at thy door. Just say: “Piss off tha Southern git. Tha knows nowt.”
Ay up. Vote fo’ Yorkshire, vote YLO.
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3446 comments posted) 29th April 2007 |
Only a Yorkshire man would have dared to write this.
Really great bit of fun here, Phil. The ironic thing is I bet if you put this in the paper you'd soon find yourself heading a new party with fanatical support [with the exeption of Harrogate,I suppose BTW you can send Betty's Tea Room down to Nottingham whenever you like]
The danger is they might not see the joke and decide you were just t'lad to start the revolution
cheers
Jane |
Hi Phil
Written by jean.day (2326 comments posted) 29th April 2007 |
Great bit of fun this. I enjoyed reading it, although I'm not sure I got all of the jokes.
My daughter and family live in Yorkshire - so that's to the good, I should think. |
No way .........
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 29th April 2007 |
........... and the RED Rose won anyway!
None of which will matter when Liverpool declares itself an Independent Republic and sets up Border Control at the Southern end of the Runcorn Bridge .......... 
Great piece of fantasy writing, Phil! Dream on ....  |
Written by Lizzy (822 comments posted) 29th April 2007 |
A good fun piece.
It puts me in mind of Peter Tinniswood and his Tales of the North Country. I could just hear Uncle Mort rallying the troops.
Lizzy |
Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 29th April 2007 |
I sometimes feel like an honorary Yorkshireman, on account of having to watch `Arry Gration and Paul `the weatherman` Hudson every night `cos the Midlands TV picture is absolute crap.
Lovely bit of nonsense Phil.
Woody |
well, what did you expect ....
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 29th April 2007 |
 ....... from the Midlands???????
After all, when God created Birmingham all he was trying to do was show He had a sense of humour ........ |
Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 29th April 2007 |
You were of course the centre of England once. I'm afraid my knowledge of Yorkshire is still very limited, but wasn't there something with Vikings and later with a War of Roses and such?
What does YLO stands for? Yorkshire Liberation Organisation?
Well, as long as they don't get as fierce as Basques and Corsicans, I usually consider people like your imaginary Phil just a little excentric and patriotic. At least such people keep their heritage alife.
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Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 29th April 2007 |
'Once the centre of England?'
Centre of the bloody world mate!
Thanks for your reviews, glad you liked it.
Phil. |
Oh dear!
Written by stevetroster (1588 comments posted) 29th April 2007 |
I seem to have arrived a little late for the party. Just as well really because I couldn't understand a word of this and therefore can offer no critique. Where is Yorkshire anyway? I seem to remember the Goodies doing 'Black puddin Bertha' Has that anything to do with it? Why is it that you don't write like this when you post reviews? Are you trying to confuse me? Why am I asking so many questions? Perhaps I should go now! Goodbye.
Loved it Phil, you should try more humour, because up until now I hadn't realised that you were funny!
Best wishes
Steve (a soft southern ######). |
Written by coosh (888 comments posted) 30th April 2007 |
| Thought-provoking. As the county responsible for David Blunkett, Sebastian Coe and Scary Spice, separation is long overdue. Does liberation also cover Yorkshire women, or is that far too radical a notion, Mr. Boycott? Surprised you have not yet been reviewed by the militants of Ilkley. I assume you are what the IRA used to call a "sleeper" in Bolton. Great fun, and good luck (although why would any self-respecting separatist want to play for England?) |
Ay up Phil.
Written by Livinginanattic (466 comments posted) 30th April 2007 |
| Great bit of fun, I could really hear the accent as I read this. Cheers. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 2nd May 2007 |
We drove through Yorkshire coming back from Nottingham a week or two ago, and it was like driving through heaven. And I have to say that Harrogate was fantastic. Someone just told me about Betty's Tea Room yesterday, so if Nottingham is too southern for you, perhaps you could send it up our way instead? We've got precious little to rival it up here...
Funny post, Phil. When I spent a little time looking at my geneaology a while back, I was fascinated to see that what British ancestry I had was so well spread out that I could claim roots just about anywhere: all over Ireland, Wales, and Scotland, Cheshire, Yorkshire, Lancashire, Norwich, Surrey, etc. I'm everything -- and nothing. Great, huh? |
Written by Janie (265 comments posted) 6th May 2007 |
| this is great! i really loved the accent, no probs with it at all and how you exaggerate the patriotic yorkshireman is a scream. |
Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 10th July 2007 |
Hi Phil, good stuff although I've got the distinct impression that t'other folk thinks tha jokin'. Keep fettling manifesto lad. Look after thysen.
Seagull branch president, Yorkshiremen abroad, Warks division |
Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 10th July 2007 |
Does tha' know lad that down here they actually have their Yorkshire Pud as a pud after t'meal with bloody jam on it!
Buggers want tekkin out and shootin'
You've set me off now - I feel a sketch comin' on! |
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