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Poetry


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Wimp

By Fledermaus

29 April 2007

A female friend of mine found out she liked girls... I think she must be very brave to have told something like that to her parents.

Billy was a tough guy
He was so tough oh my!
He drank vodka and smoked weed
And rode a morotcycle at high speed
He spat on sissies and on wimps
And he hated nerds and gimps
Emmy, he knew, was gay
And so became an easy prey
Yet while she came out of the closet
And told her conservative dad
Something she knew he'd hate
Billy though was terribly affraid
To tell his dad he smoked, the churl
A coward compared to the sissy girl

Reviews

nice balance
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 29th April 2007

...... between classical form (the 14-line sonnet) and the informal not-quite-consistent rhythm of the lines [which I assume is deliberate? It certainly works for me!] :grin

Wish I could write poetry :sigh

Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 29th April 2007

14 lines is certainly becoming the in thing around here, although I don't know what kind of sonnet this is.

Good points made. Just realised, may of your poems seem to make a particular point.

(Billy sounds like he's in the closet anyway. All that fag smoking motorcycle riding is just a front.)

Phil.

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 30th April 2007

Thanks Bagheera and Phil.
Bagheera: I didn't have a specific poetic form in mind. I just thought of this, hoped it'd rhyme and wrote it down.
I'm glad you liked the form though

Phil:
Seems I'm on a soapbox when I don't write about history, hehehe.
Maybe Billy is. Apart maybe from religious or traditional reasons, I can't see why anyone would be afraid of 'sissies' otherwise.

HI Fledermaus
Written by jean.day (2326 comments posted) 30th April 2007

I really liked this poem. It said such a lot in so few lines.
I have a niece who is gay - and she worried about how I would take it - so told her dad to tell me about it. Your poem reminded me of that.

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 30th April 2007

Thanks Jean. I think they need to have a lot of courage just to be themselves...

Written by AnnieSeed (128 comments posted) 8th May 2007

Billy's a bully, obviously. Excellent poem that makes its points very neatly, I think. What's a "gimp" though?

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 9th May 2007

Thanks Annie,
I mainly needed a word to rhyme with 'wimp', but according to the dictionary it is a crippled person. It seems to be a swearword for someone with poor social skills too though.

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