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By skrik
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01 May 2007 |
Flash. 133 words. Written yonks ago. His doctor had told him it was his age, and there was little could be done. Just give up smoking; cut down on the drink; and cut back on the fatty foods, the between-meal snacks, the comfort food. And by all means, take more exercise. Walk instead of driving; take up golf, tennis, squash, swimming, cycling, jogging.
So he stopped smoking -- cold turkey -- and refused more to drink. He began to eat müsli for breakfast, Ryvita for lunch, and boiled cod for dinner, and nothing in between. He took up squash in his lunch-hour, golf at the weekend and went jogging in the evenings. The doctor's word was his command.
And he blew his brain out at the clubhouse one Sunday afternoon. His doctor told his widow there was little could be done. |
I agree Written by Asferthecat (824 comments posted) 1st May 2007 | Years ago I begged my parents to give up eggs and bacon for breakfast or they would die. To my dismay they said they would rather die. They did eventually, though from nothing eggs-and-bacon related. | Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 2nd May 2007 | I liked this - nice idea, especially the ending. I did feel a bit like the ending needed to be developed a little more - not a lot mind you, just a touch. It felt a little ragged to me on the first read through. Pretty good. Elli | Written by Snodlander (501 comments posted) 2nd May 2007 | The ending was telegraphed a little, but not too much by any means. And I think, like Elli, that the ending could be stretched a little. A comment on how his days were stretched long and thin, that he felt he had now lived for ever, something of that ilk. I'm reminded of the joke, 'you don't live any longer. It just seems that way.' Nice last line, too. | Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 7th May 2007 | Nice piece. With the others, the ending needs just a little more. Phil. |
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