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By jean.day
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07 May 2007 |
Nobody seems to be reading my book, so I have decided to go onto the next U3A assignment - a Tanka - 31 syllables - 7-5-7-5-7 pattern.
I spent the day trying to get into the hospital to visit my husband who is not very well, having an infection while trying to cope with chemotherapy. I missed the bus connection so had an extra half hour to write poetry. Bus Connection
Watching, waiting, hopefully Show the no pay pass Starting, stopping, jerkily Gosh this driver’s fast Buzzing, racing, hopelessly Hospital Visit How are you feeling today? Headache, fever, bored You’re looking better today. Hairless, sallow, weird Two sessions down, six to come. |
Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 7th May 2007 | Hi Jean, interesting form. I've never heard of a Tanka. I liked the first one the most.
As far as your book goes, I intend to have a look when I've finished Lyn's.
Phil. |
Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 7th May 2007 | These are very interesting forms of poetry, Jean - like Phil, I have never heard of them, either! They are very clever, though, and I love the rhythm.
Best wishes to your husband, I hope he is feeling much better soon.  | Hi Jean
Written by Livinginanattic (473 comments posted) 7th May 2007 | These are very good and this form is new to me as well. I went through a short spell of chemo myself a few years back (yes, me as well) and can really relate to the second one.
Hope your husband gets better soon.
Cheers. |
Written by Lizzy (838 comments posted) 7th May 2007 | A lot of feeling put into very few words.
Hope things go well.
Lizzy | Thanks Phil, Lyn, LIA and Lizzy
Written by jean.day (2387 comments posted) 7th May 2007 | | I quite like the idea of having aset pattern to work to, so will do some more exploring when I have some free time on the train into the hospital today. Thanks for your good wishes too. | Hi Jean
Written by ellipinnock (1795 comments posted) 9th May 2007 | Tanka's are good fun aren't they? You get a bit more freedom than in haiku and the like. I thought the second one of these in particular really had something. Lots of mileage in the difference between what we say and what we mean. Lines 3 and 4 were really powerful for me; the last as well. Lots to think about.
Hope Philip's infection is clearing up and he's feeling better.
Elli | Thanks Elli
Written by jean.day (2387 comments posted) 9th May 2007 | I changed the first line of the second one, as it had too many syllables.
It certainly is easier to play with a short poem that try to create a huge piece of writing on a subject - but I am frustrated by feeling it is not enough.
Philip's still in hospital, still feverish, but the team thinks he will have to have the next lot of chemo on Monday anyway. Poor man. | careful Jean
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 10th May 2007 | They do get to be a bit addictive -- and I see you have more up onsite  Still , they can be good time-fillers and still pack a punch
Best wishes for hubby
patterjack
| Thanks Brian
Written by jean.day (2387 comments posted) 10th May 2007 | | I do seem to be addicted - which is good because I have lots of wasted hours to fill in trains and busses these days. Philip now seems to have a fungal lung infection - and has to stay in the hospital. It's apparently a rare side effect of the sort of chemo he is getting. Probably it will delay his next lot of chemo which is both good and bad. |
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