Chapter two

It was not only the freedom and clarity of heart and mind that was stimulated in that moment of inspiration on honeysuckle lane, another, deeply buried part of Joe's being was, unbeknownst to Joe, stirring into existence.

He and Scruff returned home and Joe indulged himself in the mother of all fried English breakfasts; bacon, sausage, mushrooms, eggs, tomatoes, fried bread, beans and a mound of toast and marmalade all washed down with a pot of steaming tea.

"Ah! That wa' grand". Joe surveyed the remains of his feast and the bomb site of a kitchen; he closed his eyes in denial of this reality. Never did he eat breakfast containing anything less healthy than oatmeal and never had he been responsible for washing up. So he put his feet up on the sofa, belched twice and fell into a dreamless, contented sleep.

On waking two hours later Joe felt a strange unease; it wasn't the hangover, he was familiar with such discomfort, it wasn't the absence of the wife whose demands had ruled him for so long; he was still enjoying the feeling of liberation her absence revealed. He frowned and shrugged; whatever it was he was not going to let it spoil his enjoyment of his new situation. Having phoned in sick from work, he now phoned the doctor hoping for a sick note for a bit of respite which he was sure the doc. would provide when he explained the reason.

The strange not right feeling intensified as Joe went through the kitchen and out into the garden. As he began to weed the border and survey his familiar territory he relaxed and started to whistle. The tune to ‘always look on the bright side of life' soothed and heightened his mood as he turned his newly revealed options around in his head. With the mortgage paid there were possibilities of funding for his dream business; a financial advisor was what was needed; he could find one in the yellow pages. He might even sell up and buy a smaller place, pay Susan her half and invest the remainder in suitable premises. Joe dreamed and pottered the rest of the morning away.

The ringing of the phone dissolved Joe's fantasising, it was Kevin.

‘You'd think he was just around the corner not hundreds of miles away' Joe mused as he listened to his son ask;

 "Dad, are you ok? Mum phoned me and said she's left you and is on her way to Singapore with some fucking millionaire, what's going on Dad?"

Kevin sounded really worried and Joe was gratified by this concern, unwarranted as it was, he felt a surge of affection for the son who had always seemed one step removed from him somehow. Susan had always been the one to bustle and bully the boys into adulthood while Joe stood on the sidelines as provider and back up when she wanted reinforcement to her authority. Memories of a trusting little hand in his and earnest questions answered and received with wondering small face so perfect and beautiful. The emotion from this image nearly sent tears to his eyes and a gulp to his throat.

"I'm fine Kevin, never been better as it happens, don't you worry about me son I'm having some time off work and to be honest I'm feeling great."

"But Dad how you gonna manage without her? On your own and all....I mean... shit Dad, how could she do it? After all those years and you've been such a good husband and father and ...why?" his voice trailed off sounding little and lost, it got to Joe and for an instant he felt angry with Susan for causing such distress to his son.

"Oh, I expect she got fed up with me, after all I never amounted to much did I? I know I did everything she wanted, never complained or shirked my duty to her and you two, but maybe that's the problem; maybe she got bored with the predictability and all that." Joe had certainly been bored with it all for years but he hadn't had the guts to change anything or express his dissatisfaction. He wanted to reassure Kevin that the split was a positive turning point for him too. He didn't know how to help Kevin with this though, so he just repeated:

"I'm alright son, honestly don't worry"

"I'm coming to see you, I'll get some time off work, compassionate leave, it'll take a few days to arrange, and I'll let you know when I'm coming. Ok Dad?

"Ok" Joe sighed silently, he did want to see him, it had been almost six months since he and Susan had travelled to Scotland taking in the lochs on their way to visit their youngest. But just now Joe wanted to be alone to reassess and reorganise his fractured yet newly expanded life.

Putting down the receiver Joe stared through the kitchen into his beloved garden, but his gaze was drawn back to the kitchen and he suddenly realised the cause of his earlier discomfort. Grease, egg box, pots, pans and cans lay about the previously shiny designer worktops, flies hovered and feasted lazily and Joe groaned as he realised the down side to his carefree feasting. He had not known the joys of kitchen life since Susan always shooed him out of it not wanting any masculine contamination of her pristine palace. ‘She never cooked any damn thing anyway!' he thought as he recalled the endless series of frozen meals and take aways that she spotlessly served.

A flurry of rummaging and cupboard doors banging later; Joe, in pink plastic ‘pinny' and yellow marigolds, attacked the debris with gusto. His senses attuned now to culinary matters, he whistled and bustled the kitchen back to hygiene. As he worked a plan for dinner materialised in his brain accompanied by long distant memories from his boyhood watching his Gran. as she peeled, rolled and floured her way towards a bounty of pies, cakes and biscuits. Memories of pastry flying onto pie dishes, trimmed and pinched to perfection, came together into an intention. He was going to bake a meat and potato pie! Just like Grannies. Of course none of the required ingredients were housed in this ideal homes kitchen; so Joe went off to the supermarket to shop and stock up.

His memory served him well and although not perfect his efforts resulted in an acceptable appearance of home made pie and peas. The taste was, however, out of this frozen food world and Joe and Scruff enjoyed their second meal of freedom together.

After the meal they went out for an extra long walk. The weather was still warm with a gentle breeze to fan the summer scents and lift the lazy flying creatures here and there among the blossoms and trees. Joe's sense of contentment grew and flourished as Scruff scampered, sniffed and watered every tuft of grass and tree trunk. There was a new persona developing within him and though he did not know it yet Joe was becoming someone completely different

Back home Joe fed Scruff again then went upstairs for a long lovely soak in the bath. Susan had left bath oils and Joe hummed absently as he poured some into the water, perfume wafted around the bathroom pleasantly filling his senses with relaxing tones of lavender and patchouli. He soaked for a long time then wrapping a bath sheet round him he strolled into the bedroom. Seeing the wardrobe doors open and going to close them, he spied a peach silk robe hanging on a hook in the back. Pulling it out Joe looked at the soft, smooth, daintily embroidered fabric, running it through his fingers and thrilling to its touch, he shuddered slightly. Then, in a kind of dream, Joe pulled the garment around his large, hairy frame and tied the cord around his wide waist. It felt wonderful. He lay on the bed... and drifted off to sleep.