The archaeological world was stunned today as one of their number discovered Herod's tomb in Herodium.

A shocked spokesperson said "How ironic is that? Herodium was the last place on our list to search. We thought it was just a spoof name to encourage our members to waste their resources digging and discovering nothing at all. Or worse, discovering an ancient scroll inscribed with the words "Herod woz 'ere".

When interviewed Israeli archaeologist Ehud Netzer sobbed, " I feel so stupid! I've looked everywhere for this damn tomb and here it was all the time. I've wasted 30 years of my life." Previously Mr. Netzer’s best-known find was the carved letters "A.S." at the entrance to a long dark tunnel.

The discovery of Herod’s tomb has given fresh hope at home and abroad.

British police have jetted off to the small town of Lucan in Ontario, Canada. Inspector Korner of the Yard leads the team. As he boarded a British Airways 747 at Heathrow he admitted that his enquiry has been given fresh impetus. "We now have a real chance, after all these years, of arresting the murdering toff."

Irish Police have instructed all geography teachers to search worldwide for a city, town, hamlet or stable block by the name of Shergar or Shergarville.

And finally, over 4,000 US helicopter gunships are closing in on the settlement of Laden in Harlen County, Kentucky, USA.