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Shorts
My creation.
By Belladonna
09 May 2007
This is of course a parody of Mary Shelly's Frankenstein and was originally created for a homework in my AS English Language class, but I liked it so now I'm hoping to expand the story out slightly.
The story begins at this point, with the protagonist rediscovering his creation, and realizing a sordid truth
Hope you enjoy!


By the way, Have i put this story in the right section???

Installment 1:

As midnight struck I could not help but observe a thousand fears rising within me, immobilising any sense of valour and fortitude that had ever, even for a moment been within me. Terrified by the sound of my own falling footsteps, I crept along the dew soaked passageways; my left hand curled precariously around a small silver dagger, as I vowed silently to extinguish the life of my most murderous creation.

How I longed for him to again simply be a dark impression lingering only within my sordid imagination; a form of fancy yet to be created. But alas! Even as I thought these most wishful of thoughts, a shrill and terrifying scream brought me abruptly back to reality and I was cruelly made aware of the knowledge that the fiend I had created was most inarguably real, and it would be up to me, his creator, to kill him.


Running breathless I followed the sounds of the fearful screams, only to discover the inconceivable truth that I was too late, once again. He stood, proud and defiant, over the lifeless corpse of a young woman, her mangled body lay awkwardly in a pool of her own crimson blood, her freshly scarred face turned towards me now; a mask of pain and terror, with open, sombre eyes that seemed to be staring accusingly into my own.


I prayed that I may be granted the gift of blindness so that I might not have to observe this hideous visage any longer. In a state of overwhelming terror I felt the dagger descend from my hand unto the ground below me.


“Great God! What have I created?” exclaimed I, as the monster strode towards me.

To be continued!

Reviews

Written by TwistedTales (544 comments posted) 9th May 2007
Nice and descriptive. Some of the lines are very well written, such as "her freshly scarred face turned towards me now; a mask of pain and terror, with open, sombre eyes that seemed to be staring accusingly into my own." 
Or 
"I prayed that I may be granted the gift of blindness so that I might not have to observe this hideous visage any longer" 
 
The only put off could be excessive spacing between paras. looking forward to the next installment. Good job. 
 
Regards, 
TT 
 
 

Written by TwistedTales (544 comments posted) 9th May 2007
And yes, it is where it belongs.

Written by wltshr (300 comments posted) 10th May 2007
Good work.  
 
You've slipped into writing gothic horror prose quite naturally.  
 
There are a couple of times where your choice of words, in my opinion, let you down slightly. 
 
"...curled precariously.." I think I'd lose "precariously" completely. 
 
"the dagger descend from my hand" I think "drop" or "fall" would have been better. 
 
But, hey ho, it's your story.What do I know? 
 
Best 
 
Wltshr

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