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By Belladonna
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09 May 2007 |
This is of course a parody of Mary Shelly's Frankenstein and was originally created for a homework in my AS English Language class, but I liked it so now I'm hoping to expand the story out slightly. The story begins at this point, with the protagonist rediscovering his creation, and realizing a sordid truth Hope you enjoy!
By the way, Have i put this story in the right section??? Installment 1:
As midnight struck I could not help but observe a thousand fears rising within me, immobilising any sense of valour and fortitude that had ever, even for a moment been within me. Terrified by the sound of my own falling footsteps, I crept along the dew soaked passageways; my left hand curled precariously around a small silver dagger, as I vowed silently to extinguish the life of my most murderous creation.
How I longed for him to again simply be a dark impression lingering only within my sordid imagination; a form of fancy yet to be created. But alas! Even as I thought these most wishful of thoughts, a shrill and terrifying scream brought me abruptly back to reality and I was cruelly made aware of the knowledge that the fiend I had created was most inarguably real, and it would be up to me, his creator, to kill him.
Running breathless I followed the sounds of the fearful screams, only to discover the inconceivable truth that I was too late, once again. He stood, proud and defiant, over the lifeless corpse of a young woman, her mangled body lay awkwardly in a pool of her own crimson blood, her freshly scarred face turned towards me now; a mask of pain and terror, with open, sombre eyes that seemed to be staring accusingly into my own.
I prayed that I may be granted the gift of blindness so that I might not have to observe this hideous visage any longer. In a state of overwhelming terror I felt the dagger descend from my hand unto the ground below me.
“Great God! What have I created?” exclaimed I, as the monster strode towards me.
To be continued!
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Written by TwistedTales (544 comments posted) 9th May 2007 | Nice and descriptive. Some of the lines are very well written, such as "her freshly scarred face turned towards me now; a mask of pain and terror, with open, sombre eyes that seemed to be staring accusingly into my own." Or "I prayed that I may be granted the gift of blindness so that I might not have to observe this hideous visage any longer" The only put off could be excessive spacing between paras. looking forward to the next installment. Good job. Regards, TT | Written by TwistedTales (544 comments posted) 9th May 2007 | | And yes, it is where it belongs. | Written by wltshr (300 comments posted) 10th May 2007 | Good work. You've slipped into writing gothic horror prose quite naturally. There are a couple of times where your choice of words, in my opinion, let you down slightly. "...curled precariously.." I think I'd lose "precariously" completely. "the dagger descend from my hand" I think "drop" or "fall" would have been better. But, hey ho, it's your story.What do I know? Best Wltshr |
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