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By kitten_princess
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09 May 2007 |
:) Comments please :) She inhaled the coffee's aroma lovingly before taking a first sip. She sighed, and smiled to herself.
A wall away, chaos insued. Children ran about, knees were scraped, fists thrown, tears shed. A small war was beginning between Years 4 and 5, probably over the shade offered by the withered oak on the east side of the playground.
With effort, she erased those thoughts from her head. Only seven minutes left of break before French, Year 8, bottom set, double lesson. After last time - "piscine", "crapaud" and "bras" galore - she wasn't entirely sure her mental faculties could hold out for a whole hour again.
She still held the coffee, while thinking, sipping it slowly, feeling the warmth, pure courage and caffeine and sugar, running down to her heart. She smiled again, and knew that if it all went wrong, at least she'd had a good cup of joe.
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3352 comments posted) 10th May 2007 | A good graphically written introduction,setting up situation and character. If you meant it as that,thats fine and you should post up the rest but it that's the story, it's far too slight. We don't yet, even, know the character's name or why we are being told about this. But as an introduction it works well and catches the readers interest.
cheers
J |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 10th May 2007 | Yes, and even though I've had no appetite at all today, I am now going to go to the kitchen and make myself some Italian roast, and it's all your fault!
Jane is right -- this is fine, but there should be more of this; we are merely titillated. |
Written by wltshr (314 comments posted) 10th May 2007 | Hi Kitten
I have to agree with Jane.
Nice introduction and I'm ready for the story now.
Regards
Wltshr |
Written by Lizzy (793 comments posted) 10th May 2007 | I know that feeling so well!
I also would like to read more.
Lizzy |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 13th May 2007 | A very nice sketch. Effective in that it leaves the reader wanting more. I usually go for a short walk at lunch time to escape tha sound and smell of the place.
Phil. |
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