Rough -- but so is the process !
Dressing : A Doggerel Dirge
This old arthritic is put under stress
each morning, whenever it's time he must dress.
Forget all those traumas of an earlier hour
when he towelled himself down after his shower,
reaching way round to dry buttocks and back
while shoulder joints painfully grate , grind and crack .
Getting his gear on ' s a terrible task
which makes his expression a malevolent mask.
Leaning against any wall for support
whenever his toes in his knickers get caught --
( Are they right way around ? he tries to find out
and are the damned things their proper side out ?)
then while he leans there he seizes the chance
to slide each leg slowly into his pants.
But the shirt ! ah the shirt ! takes an effort much bolder
as he stretches out arms that freeze fast at the shoulder !
Socks and shoes ( not so hard ), are donned as the last
and Thank God , he thinks , that ordeal is past !
If only the populace would not think it rude
he'd spend his life indoors , unseen , in the nude .
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HI Brian
Written by jean.day (2283 comments posted) 13th May 2007 |
Poor you. I hope the process isn't quite as bad as you make it suond. Makes my bad knee sound very small beer indeed. But I'm off to to the orthopedic clinic today to see what they will say.
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Just as bad...
Written by patterjack (1196 comments posted) 13th May 2007 |
... and sometimes , Jean , even worse !!!
Luckily it improves during the day after some stretching and bike exercises -- and the crazy thing is that after that I was able today to swim in our freezingly cold pool . Then a hot shower and I was almost human again.
Let me sayKnees up , Mother Jean ! as I know how bad they can feel too !
patterjack
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Written by Lizzy (800 comments posted) 14th May 2007 |
I enjoyed this. Amusing but very astute. I've not got to the arthritis stage yet, hope i don't but can sympathise.
Lizzy |
Written by mmSeason (32 comments posted) 14th May 2007 |
"not got to the arthritis stage yet" ... i have (at half your age) but not that bad. I saw something in a catalogue yesterday that holds trousers at waist level as you stand up, to save reaching down. The old boy in the picture looked as if he'd enjoyed every minute of the photo shoot sitting there unzipped!  But seriously, sympathies. Poetically it's as well scanned and rhymed as other things i've seen of yours which in itself leaves me in awe - i can do that occasionally (by accident often) but not consistently as you do.
mand |
hahaha
Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 14th May 2007 |
loved this pj, wish I could do humour too!
did that other picture I sent work? I went on a frenzt of inbox-spring-cleaning and may have deleted the appropriste message... |
Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 14th May 2007 |
Dirge maybe, but not doggerel. If we're lucky enough to survive into our senior years, I guess many of us have this sort of thing to look forward to. So thanks for flagging that up, can't wait. After fifteen years of rugby I've already got odd pains etc.
Enjoyed, but don't envy you Brian.
Phil. |
Written by AnnieSeed (128 comments posted) 14th May 2007 |
| Brilliant poem, but you poor old soul! A friend of mine went on a peculiar diet where she and her husband both ate nothing with wheat in it, also no tomato and no citrus fruit. She told me just excluding the wheat resulted in their arthritis almost totally clearing up (but theirs didn't sound as bad as yours). No doubt you're aware of the benefits of fish oil supplements, but I also recommend glucosamine - brilliant stuff. I hope you feel better soon. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 15th May 2007 |
It seems you can take any subject and write about it poetically,not only was it beautifully written and well structured but handled with wit and humanity. As Phil said it is something that will visit us all. I already suffer from "tennis" elbow and a bad shoulder and if I were to write about it, it would be self-pitying and depressing so I admire you for doing it so well
cheers
Jane |
Getting a bit off topic now
Written by mmSeason (32 comments posted) 15th May 2007 |
AnnieSeed: "no tomato and no citrus fruit ... excluding the wheat ... benefits of fish oil supplements ... glucosamine ...". Just quickly i'd like to agree with all of that and there's research to support it; and i must add that cutting out (or cutting down on) dairy produce has helped me enormously. It depends what you're sensitive to and if you find the right thing, it can be life changing. Also homeopathy *when done right* can do wonders. Now next time i promise to write about poetry again!
mand |
Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 17th May 2007 |
I must admit to being an infrequent visitor here Brian but I really enjoyed this piece. Being now past my `three score years (and a bit) I have the dubious pleasure of this awaiting me round a future nasty bend. Despite(or should that be in spite of) the content, a very enjoyabe read!
happy writing
Woody |
Written by goingtothedogs (58 comments posted) 22nd May 2007 |
| Really enjoyed this piece. It made me sad though. I have a friend, Mary, who is truly crippled by arthritis; in a wheelchair with it. I think I may have to write something about her... |
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