So Prince Harry is not to go and fight in Iraq. His Commanding Officer claims it will be too dangerous for him and his colleagues.

While I’m all for everyone not fighting in Iraq, just what did he join the Army for, and why did they take him on? Yet another example of special treatment being metered out due to an accident of birth.

Imagine, me at nineteen.

Recruiting Sergeant: And what can I do for you sir?
Phil:                        I’d like to join the army please.
Recruiting Sergeant: Come to the right place.
Phil:                        Yes. I quite fancy the uniform.
Recruiting Sergeant: Good.
Phil:                        And the playing with guns.
Recruiting Sergeant: Good.
Phil:                        And all that world travel.
Recruiting Sergeant: Good. You sound like just what we’re looking for. Sign here.
Phil:                        Just one thing. If it does come to a war, I can’t be involved.
Recruiting Sergeant: Oh, and why not?
Phil:                        I’m just too precious.
Recruiting Sergeant: Just piss off.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, just what is the army going to have Prince Harry do? There’s always potato peeling or polishing tanks – but can you see him getting his hands that dirty?

And how disappointed Harry must be. He can’t go out and shoot anyone. If I were him I wouldn’t worry too much about that. His grandfather could arrange some shooting party, I’m sure.

So, the royals: what can they do besides spend our tax money, inherit our heritage, fornicate, divorce, remarry a horse, keep the Daily Express in print, embarrass us etc etc ad nauseum?

As one GW member once posted – they survive. It’s what they exist for.

How many bereaved parents wish their child had been christened Harry Windsor?