READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1176 guests online and 2 members online
Shorts
Banged Up
By CliffBowes
17 May 2007
WARNING: contains bad language and scenes of a sexual nature.
(There now, that should grab your attention.)

Banged Up


In the nick; and all I did was get caught having a shag on Clapham Common. The other business with the kid was a load of bollocks. I am not a nonce and never have been; all I did was show her a bit of affection – the odd kiss - know what I mean. I don’t know why she started screaming.

Anyway, here I am banged up in this poxy cell twenty four hours a day on Rule 43 I shouldn’t wonder, busting for a piss and I aint got a pot to piss in, if you get my drift.

It all went pear shaped when I got thrown out of my lodgings. I had been staying with Mrs Galbraith, Wendy that is, and her husband Ralph. Well, to cut a long story short, each morning when Ralphy had gone off to his ‘something in the city’ job, I would creep upstairs and get into bed with Wendy. One morning he came back for his umbrella and caught me under the duvet. As expected, he went bleeding bananas and insisted that I had to go. They made up some excuse about the new baby coming and needing more space. A total load of crap.
There I was, living rough for a few weeks, until the old Bill picked me up on the Common and verbaled me up with this nonsense about the little girl. I have to hold me hands up to having it off with the German lass in a public place – I always say “You can’t beat a bit of al fresco coupling”. Well I mean, I don’t deserve this do I?

I can hear footsteps, probably a bloody screw.

“Here’s a visitor for you, you old bugger,” said the screw in an unusually affectionate way.

“What do you reckon then,”  addressing my visitors.

“Well, he looks a bit unkempt, but I think we could give him a second chance.” Replied the male half of the couple.

The cell door opened, I was shackled round my neck and taken out into the bright sunshine of the free world.  I got into a car and driven to a semi near Clapham Common where I began my new life as Angie & Ted Brough’s new companion. It was great to be released from the Battersea Dogs Home, but I couldn’t wait for the moment when the Broughs weren’t quick enough in closing the front door, then I could do a runner and look for that German bitch again on the Common.



Reviews
clever
Written by AnnieSeed (128 comments posted) 17th May 2007
This is clever, Cliff. You've got his "voice" just right and I didn't spot he was a dog right till the very end.

Written by stevetroster (1588 comments posted) 17th May 2007
Enjoyed this, Cliff, a good twist.
Watto CB
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 17th May 2007
I loved it, my sort of story, brief, misleading, a good twist and a good end. 
 
Brian

Written by TwistedTales (548 comments posted) 17th May 2007
Loved it too. i didn't get the drift either until the very end...was on a totally different tangent...geez...nice work Cliff... 
 
Regards, 
TT
HI Cliff
Written by jean.day (2326 comments posted) 17th May 2007
I enjoyed this too, and was only put on the right track when as you talked about the collar.
Caught me too
Written by Asferthecat (851 comments posted) 17th May 2007
What filthy minds we all have - it never occurred to me that it was a dog until the end. 
Great Writing

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 18th May 2007
You caught me too, and I pride myself on being quick at spotting that sort of twist. Funny story, and I thought the bits about him getting in bed with the girl and the family's excuse about making room for the new baby were especially clever.

Written by candyfluff85 (16 comments posted) 18th May 2007
nice one.. a really clever story... and well written too!!

Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 18th May 2007
Enjoyed this Cliff. You disguised the end very well. The whole thing worked well. If you like dog stories, you could try Thurber's Dogs (James Thurber.) 
 
Phil.

Written by Jx (11 comments posted) 17th December 2007
I did like that twist. Throws a totally different light to the story on a second read through. Nicely done.

Written by Jx (11 comments posted) 17th December 2007
I did like that twist. Throws a totally different light to the story on a second read through. Nicely done.

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item