Hannah

I made a point of writing down the entire conversation when Annie was in bed that night. I wanted to have the exact words he spoke clear in my mind. Then I wrote a note to Fred, asking him to call and see me after work today, and if we could go for a walk, and I pushed it through his door early this morning.

Fred arrived just after 7.30, and I had this time arranged for Mary next door to keep an ear out for Annie. She’s old enough now to stay on her own. I knew it was only going to be a short conversation that I would have with Fred, so no need to have Florence come out.

“What is it,” Fred asked anxiously.

“You were right, Fred. It was Horatio that made her pregnant. He admitted it to me but also implied that she had had another lover the same day so there would be no way she could prove his paternity. But also Fred, I have pulled out of the financial consortium. He was very angry and says I must lose my £50 deposit, but I said I would fight him for it.”

“Oh Hannah. What can I say? He is a mongrel, and I am so pleased you came to your senses about him, only I am sorry for you if he broke your heart in the process.

"I don’t know how you managed to get him to admit to taking advantage of Blanche, but I can only say that I too am now determined to leave the area, and to go to find a job near where she is. If I stayed here, I would be very tempted to kill the man every time I saw him.

"But as far as you fighting him, I cannot say that I would advise that either. By all means try to get your money back if you can do so through a solicitor, but don’t give him any more opportunity to cause you grief. My advice to you is to forget you ever knew the man.”

“I have lived in Ludworth all my life. My roots are here, and my family’s roots. I will not be forced out of my neighbourhood by him. If someone else bids more for my house and gets it, well, that is the way of things. But I will not run away because I have found him to be an unpleasant man. I very much hope that somehow he gets his comeuppance, and I will do everything I can to thwart him.”

“Oh, Hannah, you know you have my support. But I feel that my help must lie with Blanche. She needs me, and I have always been around for her. I cannot promise to be here to fight your battles with you, much as I wish I could. And I had thought perhaps that one day I might be brave enough to see if you might be willing to marry me, but I cannot even think like that just now.”

“Oh Fred. What a wonderful husband you will make some woman. And I do wish you luck and understand that you must leave to be with Blanche. But I could not have married you. I do not love you. I don’t think I really loved Horatio either, although you are right when you say that I gave that impression, and I thought that I was for awhile. But thanks to you, I can now see clearly, and I am happy with my lot. I have a lovely daughter and sufficient funds for us to live comfortably. Hopefully, we will continue here, but if not, somewhere near by.”

So the walk concluded we arrived back at my front door, and I kissed him on the cheek and thanked him again for his support of me over the last few months.

When I was back in the house, I suddenly saw it sitting there, looking at me. It was the stone head. I felt like all my bad luck - all my unhappiness had started when Annie brought the ugly thing into the house. Although it was dark and late and cold, I took the spade, and finding a spot near the rose bushes, I dug a deep hole, and put the head down into it.

I was cold and tired when I got back in, and I cried for awhile, and then I washed my hands, and with this act of cleansing, I felt that I could go on.