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Poetry
worth the fight
By chocolate_puddle_duck
19 May 2007
i havent been on here in a while.. but it was my inspiration for a long period of time and i have been able to develope my writing quite a lot since then, because of the help and advice i recieved... thankyou :D so now im back to share some of the work i have done in the last year... im 14 now so have a better writing understanding and ability
thanks again and enjoy! x

so many times ive let a guy walk over me,
talk about, forget about, and get over me,
been fooled so many times what have i left to gain,
but here i am hands tied ive fallen for you again.

that baby face and eyes so bright,
but most of all you treat me right,
when im in the wrong you always forgive me,
never ending love you always give me,

but i do want you, no matter what i say,
you're in my heart, and thats where you'll stay,
i love you because you treat me right,
i love you... 
                 is it worth the fight?

Reviews

Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 19th May 2007
To me, this read like song lyrics. Mainly, you stuck to a strong structure. A few typos and spellings. 
 
eg/ line 1 I'm/I 
line 10 your/you're 
 
A worthwhile read. 
 
On a personal note, at fourteen I wouldn't even worry about love.  
 
Phil.
thank you and reply
Written by chocolate_puddle_duck (6 comments posted) 19th May 2007
thankyou this is just one of hundreds of poetry i have written but in general i get inspired from other peoples experiences rather than my own, as if i was to use any of my own it would turn into a horror story as my life is far from a "happy story" you'd be supprised how unlike 14 year olds i am, i am in the year above my age group and my friends are 16-19/20 year olds as i share the same maturity and interests as them... i believe this could be becuase of my "life" as i am in care and you have to grow up when put in a situation like mine... i have minor dislecsia not that i can even spell it but it only crops up in spelling and some areas of mathematics... thank you again i hope you can see my reasoning for writing this.. it was the only one i could remember at the time as im in a library and far from home where my poem folders lie  
x

Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 19th May 2007
A bit like song lyrics indeed (which is good!). This sounds like infatuation rather than love though. 
Except for the small i-s, I wouldn't have thought you were dislectic (but then I make a huge lot of typos myself, so perhaps I'm not the person to say something about that).

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