The year was 2017. I was living in Singapore as a professor at one of its universities. I had never expected to end up in such a warm country, but somehow I had grown used to the heat.
That morning I walked home to my house at the edge of the campus and I wanted to walk past the counter as I always did, when the porter gestured me to come to his office.
" There are some people from the UK here, who want to see you."
I shrugged and followed him. There were always people who wanted to talk to me and I guessed that these people were some foreign scientists who needed my opinion on some theory.
But as I entered I saw the cameras and the sound installation. What was this? A surprise interview?
" We are from the British television", they introduced themselves," and we are making a show where people seek their former lovers."
I felt how a cold hand grabbed my heart. There was only one ex-lover, so if they did indeed come for me, it had to be her. Yet it was not like her to do such a thing. She had left the past behind and closed all doors. Surely she wouldn't seek contact with me.
I just nodded.
" Do you know this girl?"
They handed me a picture I had once taken myself at the beginning of the century. It was her...
I swallowed.
" Yes, I know her."
" She is searching for you."
" Why?"
" Because she wants to meet you."
Thousands of questions rushed through my head. Was she still married? With children? What would my own family say? Why had she not tried to contact me by e-mail? Did I want to see her?
" I..."
I couldn't speak.
" She's curious what became of you, that's all."
I shook my head.
" I don't think it's a good idea."
Feelings fought inside me. Did I still love her? Hate her? Or did I just not care? I had someone else and I was happy, but there had always been that feeling that I had not said farwell the way I should have. Perhaps this was the chance to make up and leave a good memory behind. Yet on the other hand... What if we would start to quarrel again?
" Where does she live?"
" In Glasgow, Scotland."
" Married?"
They nodded and again I didn't know what to think. What reason could she have to search for me? What would her husband think? Was their marriage a happy one?
" And where does she want to meet?"
" Over here, in Singapore. We have arranged a restaurant."
So they had anticipated a 'yes' and now they tried to push me towards that encounter.
I felt how my heart beat furiously and suddenly I seemed to remember how hot it was.
" Let me think about it alright?"
" Of course, of course..."

That evening I had trouble telling it to my love. An ex girlfriend was searching for me. She was married and she was already in Singapore... I knew that if I'd not make a decision life would be hell. They could be on every corner waiting for me...
" Do you love her?", she asked.
" Of course not."
" Then you should go. Perhaps she's sad because of what happened and wants to put things right. You have told me rather often that you should have told her certain things. This is your chance."
And so I spent a sleepless night next to my love, knowing that tomorrow I'd meet that other woman.
As the sun rose, I hadn't closed my eyes. I felt her soft hand upon my chest and she smiled at me.
" Today's the big day hm?"
I shook my head.
" I cannot do it..."