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Epistle to Alexander Pope , Esq.

By patterjack

28 May 2007

Epistle to Alexander Pope Esq.

Dear Sir , believe me , I 'd not dare to name you less

nor would I make a more familiar address

or else it could , I fear , make hackles rise --

then I'd receive my dunce's hat as prize.

Your elegant precision , Sir , I've long admired

and to its rhymed perfection for long I have aspired

but I lack in all respects the exact poetic skill

to emulate its grace : and I lack both courage and will.

Some others , standing apart on their draggled dignity,

Have from thence imposed on you a deep malignity

and see you as deformed , a tiny venomous spider

spreading a fragile web but entrapping wider and wider

the bugs of Grub Street , who then all loose their smells

as bugs will do , when such entrapment compels

them to face the facts , whenever you criticise ,

and see their frailties revealed through perspicacious eyes .

But Sir , if I myself could just possess that skill

that forces them , unwilling , to ingest the bitter pill

that would clarify their muddy minds and bring

their verses from the muddier depths to make them sing ,

then my personal furies I would not restrain

and would before Muse Clio 's court their sins arraign.

Because , Dear Sir , 'tis true , we have grubs with us yet

and , now that around us all there exists the Internet

they spread their thickness and their dull Ignorance

too easily abroad with never a let nor hindrance.

The etheric medium allows such fools to foster

their poetic pretences , though there's many an impostor.

Their souls in tatters there to us displayed,

they reveal the pangs of adolescent love betrayed ;

and there are those who think that excrement

is part of any verse's complement :

and others still with rhymes and rhythms flimsy

indulge themselves too much in fanciful whimsy

feeling that they can provide sweet verses lyrical

but in fact present a way for reviews satirical.

I myself , ( and I admit it with some shame )

Could never to the first rank make a claim.

I see your impeccable alexandrines stroll the page

allowing your words to explode in acidic rage,

the neatly placed caesuras to hold the sense ; then build

Till all poetasters ' pretensions are dispelled .

I have no wish to be someone that bothers

To sit in judgment on the follies of others,

and so with all the verse that I myself present

If you just pass it by , I'll be content .

Therefore I'll simply sit back and maintain the hope

That another will assume the mantle of Pope .

Reviews

WHAT A MAN!
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 28th May 2007

Brian - Yes, I expect that I fall into the category sometimes of rhymes and rhythms flimsy.and I admit that I indulge myself too much in fanciful whimsy, but, like music, there is room for all types of poetry. Sometimes there is a place for things which cause you to smile – yes, even laugh out loud – or even to feel happy within. I think that we should expand our range of writing in many directions and I have written things which people have told me have brought tears to their eyes (my poem on Slavery) or touched their hearts.

To get to your subject: “Alexander Pope”, I have to say that I am impressed that he had already read Homer by the age of 8, notwithstanding the fact that his education was repressed (because he was a Roman Catholic) and that his untrained teacher of an aunt taught him to read. Where have we gone wrong today? Considering all of his problems, especially his ill health, his poem Ode to Solitude (http://www.poetry-online.org/pope_ode_on_solitude.htm) is a masterpiece for a boy of 12. Teachers, please note!

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 28th May 2007

Brian, I have to admit I know little of Pope apart form An Essay of Man which I read years ago but your genuine admiration of him shone through on this and gave credibility and honesty to your diatribe against all the awful verse that we are subjected to. One of my heroes, Tom Lehrer, said something similar; complaining the trouble with folksongs was that they were written by folk and not professionals and their lack of professional polish and amateurishness was lauded.I for one have taken this one board and will not be adding to the mountain of bad verse. I must look up some more of his work, thanks
Jane

Written by fellpony (1616 comments posted) 28th May 2007

You've started a trend for looking-up Mr Pope; me too. I knew most of the common quotations but had not realised what a success he made of his poetry in commercial terms.

I am intrigued by this one: Peri Bathous, or the Art of Sinking in Poetry(172, a parodic guide on how to write bad verse. "What oft was thought" and usually very poorly "expressed", I guess.

FP

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 29th May 2007

The sentiments within I can wholeheartedly agree with. While I can write duff verse ad nauseum, I usually restrain myself, and I can recognise excrement (usually) when I see it. As in life, I have a tendency to unintentionally step into the odd pile.

I enjoyed this very much Brian. I hope that getting it off your chest makes you feel better. I'll bear it in mind the next time I try poetry!

Always a pleasure.

Phil.

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