“Good evening, we are here with a breaking news story at the 6 o’clock hour. We go now live to the White House for more from our Washington reporter Fibber McSleazy. Fibber.”

“Thank you Liarley. We are live in the White House press room where we have been told President Big Oil is going to be making an announcement. We are not really sure on what he will be announcing but…..oh here he is now.”

“Thank you ladies and gentlemen of the press for coming here tonight. I would like to tell America of our solution to the need for more soldiers in the Iraq war and for the border problems we are having. Now towards the war we have come up with a plan to deploy more of Americas youths to fight terrorism and to try to bring democracy to Iraq. We have already sent out deployment instructions to all Boy Scout troops in the Western Region. All of the Southern Region and the Central Region Boy Scout troops are on standby. As you all know I was once a Boy Scout but I never was lucky enough to go off camping with them because I had college finals every time. And now on to the issues of the border we are in the final stages of negotiations with the government of Mexico for them to become the state of Old Mexico. Since there is already a New Mexico I figured that was the best name for it. All they asked for in trade was Paris Hilton and that little Chihuahua from the Taco Bell commercials. I am one fine negotiator. America you can now rest peacefully because all our problems are solved. Thank you and good night.”

“Well Liarley that seems to be all he wants to say tonight and I would just like to say how lucky we are to have a man with such intellect as our president. Back to you at the studio.”

“Next we have our report on how high gas prices is actually good for us after this commercial break.”