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The Lion and the Wolf Dream |
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By Toad
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31 May 2007 |
Any psychology buffs or dream enthusiasts out there? I am both, and this was the most powerful dream I ever had. Since dreams are messy and personal, I can't tell if it works as a poem, but it's an experience I'd like to share. A lion on the golf course!
If you see one on the green,
please do not strike the ball until I tell you what I’ve seen.
I have been the troubled lion;
not as easy as it seems.
Gnashing teeth and deadly cliffs,
I have seen them in my dreams.
My fellow lions fled;
for they knew what was to be.
But me, I was too late,
and was trapped by the stampede.
Although I saw all sorts of beasts,
it was the wolves that I did fear.
With a cliff behind my back,
they were charging much too near.
One wolf was standing still;
he flanked me on my right.
I’d be ambushed by the others
if I engaged him in a fight.
There was nowhere to move to;
I stood frozen in my fear.
His eyes glowed dark and evil,
he was standing much too near.
Dreams’ traps don’t last forever;
panic woke me from that place.
But the wolf is with me still,
I cannot forget his face.
So, be careful on the grounds;
avoid the lion if you see him.
For if you move to close,
then you will have to be him.
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The Lion and the Wolf Dream
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 31st May 2007 | I am not going to suggest any sort of meaning to this dream. The poem is competent enough. Putting across the feelings of waking from a nightmare.
I could reccomend that you refrain from eating enormous cheese sandwiches and drinking coffee after 10.00pm.
Be lucky
Cliff | interpretation
Written by Toad (100 comments posted) 31st May 2007 | I had the dream early this spring shortly after returning to college. I had taken a leave of absence of the fall semester to settle my mind after some hard times last summer. During this time I didn't work, had few responsibilities, and was lazy. The golfing represents that easy lifestyle, because golfing is a leisure activity, one that includes the association to me of shirking responsibilities for self-interest. Striking the ball towards the lion represented the necessity of moving from that lifestyle towards the life of a lion: like my image of a lion, at school I would have to be strong in the face of challenges, i.e. the workload, social stimulation, etc. (a lion's challenges include the constant need to hunt, human encroachment, and others). The scary situation with the wolves represented the feeling of being assailed by all of these challenges, and being afraid.
That's the meaning that was already in my head the moment I woke up. I hope that info makes the poem more interesting.
However, Cliff, I'll keep the dietary tips in mind! | The Lion and the Wolf
Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 31st May 2007 | Hello Kelly - It is very strange how a dream can be very real, and this was to you because you remembered the details so well. I though that on the whole the rhythm of your poem was good, but there were just a couple of cracks, and I might be able to help you with them, as I tend to specialize in rhythmic and rhyming poetry: You have started off with 3 beats on first line and 4 on the second, and repeated well on 3rd and 4th. 2nd verse, 3rd line: should be 3 beats,as in other verses, but you have added one word too many and made it into 4. You can change this by saying: I was (1) much too (2) late (3). The next verse: 2nd line (incorrect). It should be 3 beats: the wolves (1) caused me (2) most fear (3). You need to go through your poem in this way and get the rhythm balanced. The last verse was rhythmically wrong. I think this is better:
So be /careful/ on the/golf course - (4 beats)
I add/ a little/ plea – (3 beats)
For/ perhaps the /one you’re /shooting (4 beats)
Is really /little/ me. (3 beats)
Hope this helps you with your rhythm.
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Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 31st May 2007 | | Ignore MY last verse. You did better. I became confused and did 4 - 3 - 4 - 3 instead of the other way round. Sorry - your last verse was much better (except that you repeated 'him' twice - but you did much better than I did. ha ha - and so you should. You are younger and your brain more active! | thanks
Written by Toad (100 comments posted) 31st May 2007 | it'll take me some time to examine this. I may send you a PM or two later on because I'm having some trouble figuring out what constitutes a beat. When I wrote it I only tried my best to balance syllables.
Very kind of you to give me so much of your time!
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