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By wltshr
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02 June 2007 |
I've just finished writing "What to do with the body 3", (not yet posted), and fancied some light relief. News emerged today that TV production company Endemol have been working closely with the shadowy Tory Party think-tank, the 1922 committee, since the beginning of the hit TV show “Big Brother”.
Sir Edward Gentleigh-Duzzitt, a conservative backbencher, and member of the committee said: “They have been enormously helpful. As you know, we, the Tory Party, know what it is to be British. My God man, there are certain standards to uphold. Once we were known for our stiff upper lip, our sense of decency, and our manners. Now the world looks upon us as common, oafish, boorish Chavs. Frankly, it’s got worse and worse, and it has to stop. I can tell you; I was never more horrified than when Diana died. Stiff upper lip? Good lord, the drains in this country aren’t new by any means, and they could hardly keep up with the tears and the bloody tissues. What has happened to the people in this country?
Sorry. I get a bit upset sometimes.
I think it’s important to recognize that I, as one of the horrified yet silent majority, may soon be in the minority. The influence these dreadful people have in the communities in which they live cannot be over-emphasised. We can, when we return to government, influence the media to vilify and to satirise these blots on our British landscape. Until such times the people at Endemol have been simply marvelous.
They have managed to single out, year on year, the worst of these blighters, and convince them to enter into voluntary imprisonment. Albeit, as yet, only for a short period of time. Not only that but, on their release, they manage to keep track of these chaps and try to ensure that they only socialize with each other and with others of that ilk.
It is our intention to open scores of Big Brother houses. Fill them with all of these socially unacceptable people, watched all the time by CCTV, (which somehow they relish), and thereby keep them off our streets until we can reclaim this country for decent folk.”
David Cameron was unavailable for comment.
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Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 2nd June 2007 | David Cameron was busy applying for the next show as it's the only was anyone will recognise him come the general election.
Enjoyed. Not quite enough froth around the mouth for a Tory mind - but even they must have moderates.
Phil |
Written by stevetroster (1588 comments posted) 2nd June 2007 | Well I for one intend to vote for Cameron, they deserve another chance. 2-1 up against England in the 1990 world cup finals, with only eight minutes remaining on the clock, how on earth did they not win?
Is this a typo: 'My god man' ?
And what on earth is this about: 'bloody tissues'. ??
Best wishes
Steve. | Watto Wilty.
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 3rd June 2007 | | Watto Wilty take two
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 3rd June 2007 | Your constant reference to oral sex put me off!
eh?
Stiff up 'er lip,
Have a nice day
Brian. |
Written by wltshr (341 comments posted) 3rd June 2007 | Phil: I wanted to rant but somehow agreed with the idea. Hopefully within twenty years all of these awful people will have emigrated to Spain and only the good chaps will be left.
Yours
Sir Bufton-Tufton ret'd. |
Written by wltshr (341 comments posted) 3rd June 2007 | Steve: Thanks for spotting it. No matter how many times you read the damn thing you never see it. As God is English I'm sure he will forgive.
BTW "Ships in the night"! What a fabulous single.
Best
Wltshr |
Written by wltshr (341 comments posted) 3rd June 2007 | Brian: Apparently references to oral sex are OK if read after the watershed, and aural sex after 9pm on the Home Service.
Best
Wltshr |
Written by Minimango (14 comments posted) 11th June 2007 | AT LAST! SOMEONE WHO SAYS IT LIKE IT IS
Nothing like a foam flecked rant about reality tv.
More BB houses for the chavs
Even more secure Psychiatric facilities for those who watch the programme and/or buys the dvd, soundtrack, matching towelset etc...... |
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