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Poetry
Bone Structure
By clochard
03 June 2007
A poem about a dream about a photograph.

Coveted and covered;
your hair and your smile
remind me of my mother.
Blood flowed and the colours
soothed and shocked,
returned to monochrome.
Transfixed by tasks
in a dead heat.
Bare arms and dark cloth
tangled in the dead faint.
Powdered with chalk.
Cracked, black, skyline behind,
a future runs, fast forward
and points to the bone structure
that you bequeathed to me.
The look, I once saw as my own,
was thrown to the unseen man,
who, you could tell was pleased by
the small waisted bow that you tied.
The cracks in the porcelain bowl,
opened and the colours ran.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 4th June 2007
Dreams are pretty vague by nature, and I don't think this helps your poem. There are some nice touches, but for me, it doesn't hang together. 
 
Particularly liked: 
 
a future runs, fast forward  
and points to the bone structure  
that you bequeathed to me.  
 
Phil

Written by clochard (2 comments posted) 4th June 2007
 
I'll work on it, Phil.  
 
Thanks for your comments which I tend to agree with. 
 
Clocha.

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