Quicklinks:
Short S. | Poetry | Not News | Scripts | Comedy | Non-Fiction | SF | Crime | For Kids | Extended | Village
Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Honesty
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1149 guests online and 8 members online
Poetry
print friendly version     
Honesty
By ellyb39
04 June 2007

Round clear light falls on my hand

sticking to my palms, webbing my fingers,

astringently scraping the falsehoods away,

revealing truth clinging to the edge

as a tide coats her skirts.

 

Deception slurs like slimy fish

netted by her patchwork cloak,

falling dead upon the earth.

 

Conventions push her away,

to leave me  stranded on the beach.

Reviews

Written by stevetroster (1601 comments posted) 4th June 2007
This is a great piece: 
'Deception slurs like slimy fish netted by her patchwork cloak, falling dead upon the earth.' 
 
'Round clear light falls on my hand sticking to my palms' 
 
Should it not be either; Hand - Palm, or, Hands - Palms? 
 
Lovely read, but haven't got a clue what it's about! 
 
Best wishes 
steve.

Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 4th June 2007
Liked how this worked through and ended - although it does make you sound like the victim of some dishonesty. Perhaps it's that hint at the personal that draws me to this.  
 
I was a little unsure about the webbed fingers part - but that could be me. 
 
Phil.

Written by ellyb39 (79 comments posted) 4th June 2007
yes I'm not quite sure about the webbing bit! It is about trying to describe honesty in a physical way, and how hard it is to be honest today.

Written by Fledermaus (3506 comments posted) 5th June 2007
... was what the little mermaid thought when she saw her prince with another girl and turned to stone? Somehow I had to think of a mermaid reading this. 
A beautiful poem.
i like!
Written by onlyhattie (9 comments posted) 7th June 2007
wow i like this a lot.  
 
it's different to what i normally like but i think that's a good thing. The ending in particular stands out to me I think: 'conventions push her away to leave me stranded on a beach' 
 
In my head i see imagery of maybe someone who hides behind some kind of mask or alter ego who then shows themselves. I dunno mebbe thats a load of bull but hey, i think what i think.  
 
great job.

Written by catface (8 comments posted) 26th February 2008
I like the use of 'her' instead of 'it'. It kind of humanises the elements/mother nature?

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!
 Previous item   Next item
This site is copyright 2005 - 2007 Great Writing. Work submitted by members remains the copyright of the respective authors.
See our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.