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Shorts
Soft Centre
By gwennypenny
05 June 2007
This is an old piece which I don't really know aht to do with.

Soft Spot
 

Staring straight in front of him, he bit his lip as he sensed rather than heard the  footfall stopping just beside his desk.
‘Homework, Robson, where is it?’ the voice boomed down at him.
Robson hung his head between his shoulder blades, examining the cracks in the varnish of his desk, seeking ostrich –like invisibility but steeled for the onslaught at the same time. 
‘ Look at me when I’m talking to you, boy.’
Robson straightened and glanced nervously up into the steely eyes of Mad Max, the meanest teacher in the school. 
‘Well,…..’  Mr MacMillan, Head of Mathematics, tapped his foot.
Robson’s eyes went back to scanning the desktop, as if the answer was written there, if only he could decipher the code of scrapes and scratches.
He remembered going home yesterday, letting himself into the council flat with his own key, fully intending to do his maths homework. The smell of whisky and Marlboro cigarettes assailed him in the hallway, waylaying his good intentions and setting him on his guard as he pushed open the door to the living room.
‘S’that you’ she slurred.
At least none of the usual giroday collection of bone-sucking scroungers seemed to be about.
She struggled to sit upright on the grubby settee.  ‘I’m gonna make my two lovely boys some bacon and egg for tea.’
Robson eyed the plastic bag of cans and bottles at the side of her seat.  He knew from experience that she would have squandered three quarters of the cheque already.  Then, while the sensible part of her brain was still working, before the drink kicked in, she would have hidden the remainder.  Somewhere in the cloudy alcoholic mind of his mother, she knew her children had to eat, and so she played this game of hide and seek to avoid the temptation of spending all the housekeeping on her addictions.
Robson quietly set about the search leaving her in the kitchen, swaying in the middle of the sticky floor like a shop sign.
Soon the smell of burning bacon brought him back downstairs, to find the grill unattended, his brother Ben, staring at the TV screen.  He could hear harsh retching sounds coming from behind the locked bathroom door. The schoolboy removed the pan, waited for it to cool and scraped the charred remnants into the bin.  He filled the kettle to heat water to clean the grill and scavenged in  the cupboards for food.
He found 4 potatoes and a packet of frozen peas.  There were no eggs.  Carefully he peeled the potatoes as thinly as he could so that none of the flesh was wasted.  His mother had gone to bed with some of the cans from the plastic bags.
‘Here you are Ben,’ he said softly and they sat together and ate their peas and potatoes in front of the TV.
Then Ben said he was cold, so Robson cleaned out the grate and lit a small fire. He made it a rule never to steal from the same bunker more than once a week. That way the neighbours never noticed anything missing, or at least they never said anything. 
With Ben settled in front of the screen, Robson cleaned up his mother’s mess in the bathroom.  Then he joined his brother back on the settee where they cuddled together for warmth. ‘Promise you’ll go to school tomorrow,’ Robson whispered.
‘Promise’ said Ben.
In the unnatural stillness that mushroomed in the classroom, Robson was aware of the other second years, looking at each other, their eyes full of excitement and fear. Mad Max was about to blow and this looked like it could be a big one.
‘Please sir, I forgot it sir’ he mumbled, glancing up quickly.
There was another lengthy silence, while Mr MacMillan digested this information.
‘Have it in by tomorrow,’ he said, walking on to the next pupil, who spun round to the front and began to tremble.

Reviews

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 6th June 2007
Hi GP, you seem to have fallen victim to GW the formatting gremlins. 
I'm guessing this is part of a longer piece. It's like an introduction on two fronts,home and school and as such was affective.You set the scene for homelife well and very belileveably but didn't fully explain why he didn't do his homework after all, which was the reason for taking us there. Also having set up the teacher as a real strict, mean machine you then have him suddenly change character for no discernible reason. I feel you should have gone a bit further with some explanation and reaction from Robson and the class. It doesn't so much end as just stop. 
Youhave set up some great situations and characters 
cheers 
Jane

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 6th June 2007
Unusually for me, I disagree with Jane on this one. I read this as a stand alone piece. He didn't do his homework because he was too busy with and preoccupied by things at home. Mad Max didn't throw a wobbler because perhaps, he guessed as much. 
 
I thought you just about pulled this off. To make it stronger, perhaps you could make a little more of the ending. What is it exactly that Mad Max senses - and why? 
 
Enjoyed. 
 
Phil.

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 7th June 2007
I defer to Phil on this one as he is a teacher and understands these things. I must have missed the subtext 
J

Written by Asferthecat (834 comments posted) 7th June 2007
Yes, I agree with Phil. If you emphasise the way the teacher changes when he becomes aware (how? - perhaps by seeing the desperation in the child's eyes?) it would make a more poignant piece

Written by gwennypenny (13 comments posted) 7th June 2007
Thanks for your comments everyone. I wasn't sure if the titlle gave a clue to the reason the teacher overlooked the missed homework. I was hoping the reader would realise that Robson's plight was known to the teachers so that even a meanie found it difficult to shout at him. 
You've given m,e some food for thought and yes you're right Blondsurfer I could do more with these characters. 
GP

Written by Janie (265 comments posted) 10th June 2007
hi gwenny, 
what a great subject to tackle and i dread to think just how many kids have lives similar to this..good title too..working in a college myself i know of teachers with a fierce rep but underneath they are just your average pussycat..i'm glad mad max was one of these, yes he must have known that the boy had problems at home, plus he was a nice lad, not defiant or cocky as often these children are...made my heart go out to him even more...reckon you could expand this furthur as there's so much to explore on this subject. 
 
the only thing i wasn't keen on was 'footfall' for some reason, i always think of echoing footsteps in the street when i hear that word, plus it was a bit romantic and didn't seem to fit in with the rest of your piece.

Written by TwistedTales (548 comments posted) 22nd June 2007
Liked this very much...feel rubbish for coming to this peice so late. A very sensitive subject has been handled deftly by you. Yeah i agree with Janie that you could expand a lot more and get into the mind of the boy a lil more. Almost everything else has been said already. Get the formatting fixed and this will be even better... 
 
Regards, 
TT

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