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Diary of a Wannabe. Part 4

By wltshr

10 June 2007

Wondering whether this might translate into a Radio play esp. if I incorporate all the online responses and ideas from Part 1. Would anyone object if I used your comments for the finished piece?

Scene: The District Council Recycling Centre. London/Essex borders

DAVE: Oi John! Yer got a minute?

JOHN: Wassup?

DAVE: It's always the last fuckin' one.

JOHN: Wot?

DAVE: Sum bastard's left this one full o' stuff. And the pickup's due any minute.

JOHN: They prob’ly used it to stick all their ol' crap in then coot'n be arsed to empty it.

DAVE: I woot'n mind so much but I carn' op'n it.

JOHN: Don't fuck abaht!

DAVE: I carn't! it's stuck or summink! It’s jammed or glued or summink. All rahnd the door.

JOHN: Don’t be stupid! Give it 'ere! .... It's stuck!

DAVE: I know tha' dunnaye. You got a crowbar in the office?

JOHN: Yeah! I’ll geddit!

Scene: The District Council Offices.

The ‘phone rings.

JOHN: ‘Ello Julia. Is Morrison in?

JULIA: One moment...... Mr Morrison? It’s John from the recycling centre. Are you in?

MORRISON: Christ! Julia. It’s nearly a quarter to. I told Sarah I’d get home early. What does he want?

JULIA: I don’t know.

MORRISON: Tell him I’ve gone. It’ll wait until tomorrow.

JULIA: Hello John? I’m sorry Mr. Morrison’s just left. Can I help? Or take a message?...........Mr Morrison? He says I can’t help. I can’t take a message either. He wants to talk to Mr Trent. What should I do?

MORRISON: Oh Bugger! I can’t have him talking to Trent if I don’t know what it’s about. Put him through.

JULIA: Hello John? I thought Mr Morrison had left for the evening but he’s just walked back in. He must have forgotten his umbrella or something. I’ll just put you through.

MORRISON: Yes, John........The CCTV at the dump? Does it have film in? Of course it doesn’t! Do you think we’ve got the budget to put film in the cameras at the dump? Why?.........What do you mean? Who won’t be happy?..........The police? What are the police doing there?.........You’ve found what? In a freezer? At the dump?...........Julia. Get me Mr Trent.

JULIA: Hello Janice? Is Mr Trent in? Mr Morrison wants to speak with him.

JANICE: Mr Trent. Are you in? It’s Mr Morrison…

Scene: The District Council Recycling Centre Office.

JOHN: Ere. Drink this.

DAVE: Christ John! I’ve never seen nuffink like it. What d’yer fink ‘e did to ‘er?

JOHN: Gawd knows! It’d be easier to say wot ‘e ditten do to ‘er!

Reviews

Written by stevetroster (1486 comments posted) 10th June 2007

What happened to the bottomless well?
I think that this piece is just a vehicle to get the story from point G to point P.
On it's own I got very little from it, so eagerly await part 5.

Best wishes
Steve.

Hi Steve
Written by wltshr (300 comments posted) 11th June 2007

Ah!! How soon you forget.

In part 1 we had an anonymous victim whose body had to be disposed of.

It seems she's been found.

It's all your fault anyway. You suggested, quite rightly, that the police should be brought in; and now they can.

(By the way, I loved the DI Grim impression.)

Best

Wltshr

Written by stevetroster (1486 comments posted) 11th June 2007

How soon I do.
That's what happens when you read it in bits and pieces (like your bodies!), so the sooner you get the whole thing published the better.

Best wishes
Steve.

Written by Phil (6549 comments posted) 21st June 2007

I remembered the initial victim, but then I only read it about fifteen minutes ago. The genre change mid piece was a bit of a shock, but it worked well enough. It was me that asked for dialogue. The only problem is, by doing this, you change the whole tone of the piece. That was a pretty major part of its attraction.

Phil.

Crap
Written by Dark_Angel (53 comments posted) 19th September 2007

Um... I kinda got lost here... Thought there was a well... *shrugs*

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