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Poetry
Support Your Goverment Forces
By maipenrai
12 June 2007
in the village and
in the villages
for miles around
it was the same.

from ten to seventy
torn apart inside,
gang raped,
even the children.

the poster shows
a smiling soldier
gun in hand,
a defender of the land,
a child rapist too,
the words on the poster?

Support Your Goverment Forces.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 12th June 2007
For me, more prose than poetry, but again, there is impact here. You're certainly getting your message across. 
 
Third last line, should be 'too' not 'to.' 
 
Same point about capitalisation and punctuation. 
 
Phil.

Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 12th June 2007
thanks mate 
Bernie
cutting
Written by uche (44 comments posted) 13th June 2007
like the irony 
 
i think you should delete the child rapist too (third last line):  
 
it's superfluous since line 8 "gang raped/even the children" gives us the picture already; 
 
and sheds some dark light on the soldier's deeds 
 

Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 14th June 2007
Thank you, and re your suggestion I will take another look, again thanks for your constructive comments. 
Bernie

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