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Army Can't Find 60,000 Camouflage Uniforms |
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By Talisker
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12 June 2007 |
Extrapolating an old joke MOD accounts released today reveal how the army “misplaced” 60,000 camouflage uniforms worth tens of millions. The new “chameleon” uniforms, developed in secret Californian labs, adapt their colour to their surroundings – much in the same way as the reptile of the same name.
When we asked a spokesman how you could possibly lose such a large shipment, he replied:
“It’s a bugger isn’t it. The supplier, Acme Uniforms LA, are adamant that the uniforms were delivered – but we have no way of confirming this. We paid them over $40 million but have not seen anything for our money!”
David McCallum, Acme’s CEO elaborated:
“We told the limey idiots that they must maintain a physical contact with the delivery – otherwise it does have a tendency to merge. Now every bloody terrorist will be wandering around in a cloak of invisibility. Believe me bubba, our stealth range is good. Osama could creep up on Bush in the oval office wearing our gear and plant a smacker on his balding pate”
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Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 12th June 2007 | Knowing the British army, it would have disintegrated in the rain, combusted in the sun etc. They have a habit of buying crap stuff. At least on this occasion they could claim general incompetence rather than cheapo purchasing.
Enjoyed.
Who'd want to kiss that dick? - Except for all the corporations that kiss his arse.
Phil |
Written by stevetroster (1907 comments posted) 12th June 2007 | | I was here |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (5077 comments posted) 13th June 2007 | Maybe an old joke but you've brought it right up to date and added some more funny business. Liked the way you took a possible occurence and went off at a surreal tangent with it, fits the forum perfectly and always good to have a pop at Bush.
Incidentally my uncle was a warrant officer and the stories he told would make yours seem plausible.
This was one of his, bless him
"Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way".
So you may know something we don't, after all.
cheers
Jane |
Written by ellipinnock (1816 comments posted) 15th June 2007 | Pushed Phil's buttons with this one didn't you??
Liked it, very topical and, as above, you've got an eternal target in Bush 
Good stuff
Elli |
Written by wltshr (357 comments posted) 18th June 2007 | I'm confused.
I thought David McCallum became Russian in later life.
Surreal idea, nicely delivered
Regards
Wltshr |
Written by TJW (235 comments posted) 14th August 2010 | | We had the same problem with MARPAT. Much obliged. |
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