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Poetry
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The Conception Of Gerry O'Connell
By Talisker
14 June 2007
For GC

It was on the old coach road to Sligo,

that Gerry O’Connell was made,

when Felix the one-armed wrestler,

took advantage of Mary McDade.

 

Said she, “I want to see Cork, lad”

but he misheard her, tragic-a-lee,

for in seconds his big Derry fingers,

were twelve inches up from her knee!

 

Said he “you’re a full flowing bowl, Miss

and I’m thirsty for that kind of wine,

Give a bald-headed bachelor one sweet kiss,

and your first born will surely be mine”

(for such was his wicked design!)

 

But he had mistaken her virtue,

in a trice she’d a fist full of bag,

‘twas his eyes that were full flowing bowls, forsooth,

and his ardour had started to sag!

 

But remember, a wrestler was Felix,

and the grapple came easy to him,

with a twist of his one arm and three lusty kicks,

he was soon on good terms with Miss Quim!

 

To the pleasure did Mary surrender,

gave the one armed bandit a pull,

though she thought his shillelagh would end her,

“Christ, you’re hung like a big Ulster bull!”

 

So that was how Gerry O’Connell,

was conceived more of lust than of love,

when poor Mary was filled to the gunnels,

by a chap who wears only one glove.

 

Oli 14/06/07

Reviews
an nathai, an cluta!
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 14th June 2007
Ahwwwwwww! Oli! You big ol' softhead! Nobody's ever written a poem for me before. I'm a big hearted fellow. All is forgiven- includuing the impudence and lese-majeste of Glasgow Celtic. I hope you didn't do this while you were supposed to be on the till! I shall remember you every time I'm in Tesco!  
 
le dea-mhein! 
 
GC.

Written by Phil (6828 comments posted) 14th June 2007
Some very good laughs in this. The child in me loved: 
 
when poor Mary was filled to the gunnels, 
 
You know I have a liking for narrative poetry. No exception here. Enjoyed thoroughly. 
 
Phil 
 

Written by coosh (887 comments posted) 15th June 2007
Gone through this several times, Oli, and it still cracks me up. The rhythm, style and images are a joy to read. In fact, I'm trying to persuade my youngest to use it for his primary school poetry reading competition. As the story develops, of course, you will reveal that the absence of breast-feeding and the fact that he was dropped on his head as a baby contributed significantly to his becoming a Manchester United supporter. All the more remarkable that you managed to pen this between swiping Clubcards and licking Jaffa cakes (or the other way round). How many points do you get at Tesco's for an Ulster bull?

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 15th June 2007
Oh Oli, you almost had me in tears you daft bugger. 
 
Elli 
 
ps. Remember that marriage proposal?? lol 
 
:grin
Oli
Written by fellpony (1647 comments posted) 18th June 2007
you will be delighted to know, you subversive creature, that this poem, almost in its entirety, was rampaging through my head most of today. A deceptively simple piece of narrative verse, to have an immediate and lasting impact (quite apart from bawdiness). Now that's talent. 
 
Sue (to whom you've also proposed. Bigamist.)
heehee
Written by no1butClo (338 comments posted) 19th June 2007
what a giggle! [in MSN terms, an absolute rofflecake :) ] 
 
my favourite moment had to be "tragic-a-lee" - Oli, you're a born songwrite! 
 
clo 
 
PS They say marriage is an institution...who wants to live in one of those?! :p

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