Not really a story as such, more of...a....well...an idlemusing I guess. What if Jesus were a soldier? Look, don't get mad at me. It's just a question. I know religion is a bit of a sore point at the moment and that we're supposed to be tolerant of all beliefs and of course that we shouldn't question the word of God but rather just accept religious teachings as we are told them, you know, have faith and all that. I really don't mean to be blasphemous; I was just wondering that's all. What if Jesus was a soldier? And I don't mean what if Jesus wasn't really Jesus but just some grunt instead who had decided that the best way to get his message across was by violence. He certainly wouldn't be the first person to decide the best way to improve somebody's life is to take it, but that's not what I mean. Okay, I haven't started this very well and I can see you're upset, give me a minute and I'll try to explain. Imagine if you can that Jesus was conscripted into the Roman army. No, of course he wouldn't want to be there but let's just assume he had no choice. Oh I don't know, compulsory military training or something, look just imagine all right? So Jesus is a Legionary right, and he's got to go off and fight, but he's a pacifist isn't he, so he's not going to want to hurt anyone. But what happens when the fighting starts? Does Jesus just put down his weapon and let himself be killed, knowing that if he does so he will never get the chance to tell the World of his message from God? Or does he fight to preserve himself by killing so he can save his message to mankind? What price would he consider his message to be worth? No it's not a stupid question, I'm just saying that we know Jesus considered his message to be worth his own life but would he have considered it to be worth someone else's? And if so, how many? Ten? Twenty? Millions? How do you balance the immortal souls of all mankind, against the soul of the enemy standing in front of you? I know, I know, Generals have always had to make this type of decision, the death of a few to save the many etc, etc. Hell, even if the few are civilians it still makes sense. Well yes, of course Hiroshima is the obvious example. Sure it was horrible, but it was a necessary act of violence in order to end another act of violence; kind of a fighting fire with fire type of thing. But Generals are soldiers, they are fighting men, what I am suggesting is different. Jesus would know, really know, how wrong killing is. I don't think he would be able to do it. I think he would let himself be killed, even if it meant that mankind never heard his message and lost the key to the gates of heaven forever, rather than hurt a single person. And you know what else? I don't think that he would have been alone in this. I think if you had put Buddha or Muhammad or even Gandhi in the front line they would have laid down their weapons and embraced their own deaths. I think that they would have left mankind to cope as best we can without heaven, if the only way they could give it to us was by killing. I think they would have gladly accepted their own mortal deaths, and ours, instead of that. If I'm right here, and I think I am, how is it that we have all so lost sight of the fundamental truth of all religions and all prophets - that the way to God can never be found through violence? Not. Ever. So what if Jesus were a soldier? I think he would make a bad one. But what if Jesus were a medic? Now that would be sweet. |
The pedant strikes! Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 29th July 2005 | Ahem! "What if Jesus were a soldier ...." Hypothetical, therefore subjunctive mood Don't they teach LATIN in schools any more? My favourite "what if .... ? " scenario on these lines comes from a poem by Roger McGough: Mother, there's a strange man Waiting at the door With a familiar sort of face You feel you've seen before. Says his name is Jesus Can we spare a couple of bob Says he's been made redundant And now can't find a job. Yes I think he is a foreigner Egyptian or a Jew Oh aye, and that reminds me He'd like some water too. Well shall I give him what he wants Or send him on his way? O.K. I'll give him 5p Say that's all we've got today. And I'll forget about the water I suppose it's a bit unfair But honest, he's filthy dirty All beard and straggly hair. * * * * * * * * * Mother, he asked about the water I said the tank had burst Anway I gave him the coppers That seemed to quench his thirst. He said it was little things like that That kept him on the rails Then he gave me his autographed picture And these three rusty nails. Says it all, really ....... | I stand humbly before you… Written by idlemusings (80 comments posted) 29th July 2005 | …cap in hand, very much a broken man. I have little left to offer but my sincerest apologies for such an inexcusable lapse. I am, was, were and always will be grateful for such comments showing me the error of my ways. I have, of course, immediately modified the story in order that other poor innocents are spared the horror of full frontal exposure to such an abuse of my mother tongue. My only hope is that now I have done so any further visitors will not understand your comment – thereby saving me from being tarred, feathered and run out of this forum on a rail. (Oh and I liked your poem as well)
| ♪ ..... face turned to the wall .. Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 29th July 2005 | ..... If she's gone I can't go on Feeling ten feet small " (Lennon/McCartney, not sure of date) The intention was not to make a snide comment, Idlemusings! I sincerely hope no offence was given, as it certainly was NOT intended If you are aware of my "full moniker" from the h2g2 site (which is always worth a grin if you haven't been there!) you'll appreciate that as a fully-qualified Spellchecker, Grammarian Pedant, Semiquavering secretary (and also paid-up member of the Punctuation Police) I had to go with WC Fields, and admit that I can "resist anything except temptation" Roger McGough writes much better poems than me, though | Bloody emotocons failing to do their job Written by idlemusings (80 comments posted) 29th July 2005 | Sleep easy Bagheera, your comments were taken in the spirit in which they were intended and no offence was taken. My reply was not intended to be sarcastic and I had hoped that the liberal sprinkling of emotocons would rob the words of any unintended sting, leaving only a light hearted response, and a very real admission of guilt on my behalf. I do, however, tend to ramble on a bit when I get going. I am be happy to receive similar comments from you in the future - after all this is a writing forum so it is only fair that you are allowed to be pedantic over the use of words and punctuation. | Bugger Written by idlemusings (80 comments posted) 29th July 2005 | 'I am be happy...' I mean 'I am happy...' Damn it.
| sorry to interrupt you two Written by darrenmc (54 comments posted) 29th July 2005 | | some sexual tension going on i think, maybe not, anyway.... yes i thought this was very thought provoking and the kind of thing that gets my brain buzzing all the time. when you get down to it religion is blown out of the water compared to human nature i think, that is, survival of the fittest, natural selection etc. etc., wanting money power and all that..., who was jesus anyway? what would blair, bush, ken livingstone, the french tosser, what would any of them do if they were soldiers, what would my boss do if he weren't a boss? what would sainsburys managing director's views be if he were the shelf stacker? you got me thinking, thank you. | Written by jean.day (2283 comments posted) 14th October 2005 | Reply to Idlemusings regarding what if Jesus had been a soldier. What an interesting question you raised. And your method of writing, with continually pre-empting the reader’s objections and countering with your own reasoning, was great fun. I have spent some time thinking about this question. First of all, I don’t think Jesus would have been coerced into the Roman army. I think the Romans who were in control of the area would have not wanted unwilling forced troops of an inferior race to their way of thinking in their army. Secondly, if they did think of coercing Palestinians into Roman military service, I think Jesus would have been a conscientious objector. I don’t know if the Romans would have just summarily killed him – or whether they would put their CO’s in jail – or allow them to do some other sort of work instead. But just say he was put in jail, I don’t suppose for the Jesus story to work, his converts had to be fishermen and other similar types in the countryside. He could just have easily worked his magic (because his message must have been compulsive for him to have made so much impact in such a short time) on other inmates in the jail, or his jailers themselves. It was necessary for the fulfilment of the Old Testament prophecies for Jesus to die. He had no choice in the matter. Or I suppose to be fair; he chose to go along with his fate. I personally find the idea that all the elements in Jesus’ life had been foretold in the Old Testament rather suspect. One wonders if there was such a thing as free choice. But probably books can be changed to reflect the occurrences as well as the occurrences staged to fit with the predictions. In my story, The Grandmother of Jesus, I had Joseph put pressure on Mary to travel with him to Bethlehem because he felt it was necessary for Jesus to be born there. He knew that was where the Messiah was predicted to be born, and he wanted to make sure that the scriptures were fulfilled. So I don’t think the question of Jesus being a soldier would have come about. He would have refused to do so. But just going along with your supposition, I don’t think that it follows that he would have been a bad soldier because he refused to kill anyone. Somehow his refusal to conform would have turned out to be a positive, and would have got him followers. And as I said before, he needed to die for the story to work – so the more annoyed he could make his army superiors, the better. There is one encounter with a military man, a Centurion, mentioned in the New Testament – and the man is very deferential to Jesus – he says he doesn’t need to see him work a miracle to believe that it will happen. Thanks for the good read. I enjoyed Bagheera’s comments too.
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