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Poetry
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Driving
By Richie
19 June 2007
Have you ever noticed when you drive that a person or anything in the distance takes a while to emerge and then once passed it goes out of sight quicker when looking in the rear view mirror. i have!
And so it inspired this one!

DRIVING
 

 

Four-hundred yards in sight I see
A human being, that it might be.
Drifting towards its casual pace
The engine roars the wheels do race.
A changing glance reveals the speed
Of a car nearing sixty with excess feed.
Together with its onward thrust
My foot flat down produces dust.
 

The slow, steady emerging figure
Seems all the more reachable.
 

And then it's there, and then it's past.
The fully sized body
Diminishes fast.
Until I see
Nothing
But a
Dot

Reviews

Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 19th June 2007
Well I got to the end of this one, and it wasn't opaque. Can't say much more about it really. 
 
Phil.
DRIVING
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 20th June 2007
Hi Richie. 
The last verse appears to be written as a calligramme and I think the whole thing would benefit from having the first verse also as a calligramme. You could start with one word and extend each line untill reaching the 7th. This, in my humble opinion would scan better. 
The only thing which seems to get bigger after I have passed it is the traffic cops who pull me over for speeding. 
Happy writings 
Cliff
DRIVING
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 20th June 2007
for cops read cop. a mere slip of the finger.

Written by Walloo (2 comments posted) 20th June 2007
Cliff, 
You know i was thinking that last night, that it should start with one word then extend gradually. Thanks for suggesting it. i had a chuckle when you said about the traffic cops. Me too, i have 9 points!!! 
So glad you liked this one. Someone said a while back it was a good observation and well put into writing. i wrote the darn thing in 1985!
DRIVING
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 25th June 2007
I'm confused. Often am at my age. Who wrote this? was it Richie or was it Walloo? Or are they one and the same person?

Written by Richie (15 comments posted) 27th June 2007
Just noticed this through a posting by stevetroster.  
 
Whoever Walloo is stop acting about here. This is my piece. 
 
Thank you CliffBowes for your constructive criticism here. Consideration about altering my poem like you suggest shall be done.  
Sounds good.nullWhoever Walloo is stop acting about here. This is my piece.[B]Whoever Walloo is stop acting about here. This is my piece. 
 
Richie

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