Nobody appears to be reading this, but I thought I'd just post up one more chapter, and if I don't have any joy, I think I'll give it up as a bad job.....

Chapter 12

The palm trees swayed gently in the breeze, the sky was an unbroken expanse of blue.  It seemed like a veritable paradise, the perfect place to escape from reality for just a while - it would not mend a broken heart, but it was perfect for a temporary repair job.

As Jon and Donna sat by the pool, soaking up the sun's gentle rays, Donna suddenly sighed heavily, and rested her head on his chest.

"What's wrong, love?" he said, drawing her into his arms.

"I'm so confused, Jon" she said.  "I don't know what to feel"

"What about me?"  he replied, with a devilish glint in his eyes.

"Typical man!" she retorted.  "Can't you keep your mind above your waist for five minutes?"

"Well" he said.  "You're always saying us men have our brains in our b..."

"Not another word!"

She put her hand over his mouth, silencing him.

"You know what I mean" she said, looking earnestly into his eyes.

"Yes, I do"   His smile faded, and he held her tighter.  "I know exactly what you mean.  Some days you feel you can conquer the world, and on others you feel like the world is conquering you - I know I'm putting it badly, but I think you know what I'm trying to say.  It's not that long, Donna, since, you know, it happened....."

"See?" she said, sitting up and wrapping her arms around her knees.  "You can't even say it, can you?  We lost our baby, Jon!  Why can't you just say it!"

"Because it hurts!"

When he realised that his raised voice had attracted attention, he picked up his towel and headed back to the hotel, his face burning with embarrassment.  Donna followed close behind him, shooting the onlookers a few dirty looks!

She caught up with him in the hotel room, where he lay on the bed, his face to the wall.  She sat down next to him, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.  When he realised she was there, he turned around, resting his head on her lap, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I know it hurts, love" she said, stroking his hair.  "It hurts me, too.  I know this holiday won't solve everything - I just thought it might help occupy our minds for a while - get away from everything that reminds us of our loss.  I thought that the chance to relax, and not have to listen to well meaning people asking after us every day.  I don't mean that to sound ungrateful, as people have been so kind, but I just wanted us to have some time for ourselves. Is that selfish?"

"No" he said, turning over and sitting up.  "It's not at all selfish, I think we both deserve it.  Let's make the most of it, shall we?"

"Come here" 
 

Her voice was just a whisper, her eyes were full of an emotion he could not quite fathom, but he was not even going to try.  He did as she asked!  She wrapped her arms around his neck, and brushed her lips against his, time and time again, before she actually kissed him, driving him out of his mind.  He was fast losing his ability to think straight, especially when she ran her fingertips up and down his back, making small circles as she went.

"Oh, Jesus, Donna!"   His voice was a husky whisper.  "Do you know what you're doing to me?!"

"Yes" she said, smiling.  "I know exactly what I'm doing to you! Now just shut up and enjoy it!"

With that, she pulled the sheet over them, and, for just a while, they relived the feeling of being young and deeply in love, without a care in the world - and it was a wonderful feeling.  It made their bad memories seem a million miles away - unbeknown to them, they were to catch up with them very soon.

The next morning, they decided to make their way to the beach fairly early in the morning, before too many families arrived.  They were surprised to see some already there!  They picked out a nice, secluded spot, and lay their towels down on the sand.  As Jon lay on his towel, his head resting on his arms, Donna rubbed suncream over his back, despite his protests.

"You know how easily you burn" she said.  "so just put up and shut up!"

"Oh, you do go on!" he muttered.  "I bet your teeth are glad when you're asleep!"

Donna did not answer.  She just took an ice cold bottle of coke from the cool box, and placed it directly on his bare back, nearly sending him skywards.  As she sat there laughing helplessly, he caught her in his arms.  Suddenly, she stopped, and just sat there staring at him.

"I was just thinking" she said.  "It's so lovely to see you smile again"

"Ditto" he said, pushing her hair back from her face.

They both turned at the sound of childish giggles, and a mother's frantic shouting.  They saw a little girl of no more than 18 months, toddling towards them, her mother in hot pursuit.  Suddenly, the child fell, beginning to cry.  Instinctively, Jon ran forward and picked her up, carrying her over to her mother.  The mother's reaction left him totally stunned.

"Give me my baby back!" she shouted.  "I've heard about men like you!"

"What do you mean?"  He could hardly speak.  "I was only bringing her back to you!  I wasn't going to hurt her!"

"That's when babies get snatched!"  she ranted.  "When their mothers aren't looking, it's a good job I was!"

Donna could stand no more, she rushed over and sprang to his defence.

"How dare you accuse my husband of such terrible things?"  Her eyes were full of tears, her voice shaking.  "He would never hurt a child, he hasn't got it in him!  He was just bringing her back to you, that's all!"

"You may well say that, but I don't know him, do I?"

"No" agreed Donna  "you don't know him, because if you did, you'd know that we've just lost a baby.  Look what you've done to him!  How could you say such things?  Are you proud of yourself - making a grown man cry!"

"Donna" he pleaded, desperately trying to regain some self control.  "Just leave it!  It's not worth it!"

"But, you heard what she said...."

"Donna!" He walked over and caught her by the arm.  "Just leave it!"

They both walked off together, the woman's apologies and pleas that she never meant to hurt them ringing in their ears.  As people stared, they just wanted to get away from this scene of humiliation as soon as possible.

As Donna followed him into the hotel room, she saw him lying on the bed, facing away from her.  She lay down next to him, not quite knowing what to say at first.

"This kind of thing will happen, love" she said, gently.

"What?  I'll be accused of being a child snatcher!!"

"No - I meant that wherever we go, there'll be babies!  Always something to remind us!  A holiday can help in some small way - but it will still be there when we get back!"

"Oh, Donna!"

Her heart ached as he looked at her with tears flooding down his face, his lips were trembling uncontrollably.  He looked just like a small boy who wanted his mum, but did not want anyone to see him cry.  She drew him into her arms, gently stroking his hair, her own tears suddenly mingling with his.  After a while, she just lay there gazing at the man she loved more than life itself as he lay sleeping in her arms.  Today's incident on the beach had taught her one thing - that this sunkissed island, with all its beauty, was not the solution to their pain.  The one thing, the only thing was  - time.  She knew that one day they would experience the untold joys of parenthood - the one thing they needed was time.  She lay there in the darkness waiting for Jon to wake up, so she could tell him what she had just learned.