We are fishing today, me and the boy. I sit by his side on the riverbank and show

him how to bait a hook. He is a fast learner, like his father and his father before him.

Some inherited things are good, others...

    We cast and recast our lines..but mainly we talk. About his Mom, school, his

friends, but mainly about him. He is ten now, sometimes going on fifteen, a grown up
kid before his time. Maybe that`s how it had to be. I look into his eyes, trying to

see...who? Me? His Mom? Who? I watch him cast another line and decide that

perhaps, in truth, it is neither of us.

     Now he is not quite like the dog-eared photo in my wallet. His face is thinner, the

eyes less vibrant, his hair wispier, less curly. But he is taller, much taller.

     I gaze out across the water, feeling his warmth and companionship beside me. I

want to take him in my arms, hug him, tell him everything will be fine, that I will

always be there for him-

     `I`ve caught one dad!`

      Perhaps this is how it should be. Lazy days on the riverbank, visits to the zoo,

time spent together..until time itself is spent...

     `Help me dad..help me reel him in!`

      I grab his fishing rod and together we pull, me taking the strain, he winding in

the line.

       `Is it a big one dad! can you see it..I bet it`s huge!`

       `Yeh it`s a big one son..bigger than any I`ve ever caught.`

        `Really!`

         I watch, the bony arms moving like miniature pistons as he winds in the reel.

For a moment, beneath the pallid skin, I sense his excitement as his face creases

into an almost forgotten smile.

        `Look at it thrashing about dad! It won`t get off the hook will it..don`t let it

dad!`

        The coughing starts as we drop his fish into the net. A deep, rasping sound it

spills out across the placid water, filling my brain until I think it will burst. Then it is

gone.
 
         `Ok son?`

         `Can we take the fish home dad..can mom cook it for tea..please say we can

dad..please.`

         And that is when I laugh. Laugh for all the good times we have had, for all the

good times still to come...