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Poetry
Each Black Wrinkle
By gutterkitty
24 June 2007

I wrote this about a month ago; it's one of those pieces that comes out all at once, and I think you can tell. The introduction of the "you" and the medical metaphor seems a bit misplaced to me...or perhaps it is completely nonsensical...Let me know :)


I put up a hand to halt the sun.
It blinds, levers up the skin
like a chisel, hammered in by the sky.
I have no call for sunshine,
it rests uneasy on my lids,
exposes, makes all naked. The dark cracks
hidden at the corner of the eye,
in the garden paving stones,
are thrown forward, silhouetted.
Each black wrinkle
smoothed by a light touch,
now examinable, each mistake
stretched into detail, like a concertina.
The table of the sky
now cleared, as if for a dissection.
Perhaps I will give you the instruments,
before the hot days come,
let them glint a moment on the palm.
Now split me open, take out the dark stuff
if you can: this sun beneath my skin is white,
it hugs your eyes, keeps you from looking in.

Reviews
Compressed
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 24th June 2007
So much so that I need a while to expand it for myself. 
I will therefore email you with line by line commentary as I have done with other poems of yours . 
 
Sorry if this automatically puts me and by implication , you , in some mythical * elitist * group , but unlike some of the logorrhea that we find sprayed around this site I always find your work a challenge worth taking up . 
 
patterjacki

Written by Phil (6998 comments posted) 25th June 2007
I liked this GK. For me the metaphor worked really well - the idea of unforgiving light revealing what is kept hidden. The last two lines has me in knots though. I've read them several different ways already. Very likely me. 
 
PJ suggests it's compressed. Maybe I've misunderstood that - but a little more detail or expansion may at least help me. 
 
Enjoyed. 
 
Phil.
demands several readings
Written by Talisker (1336 comments posted) 26th June 2007
As Brian PJ says - you have a depth to your work which is rare to the point of extinction in this forum. 
 
Love the way you use metaphor as a net to trawl your deep places. This really works for me - though I'm sure that the "elegance" of it could be improved upon. 
 
Thanks for a challenging and thought provoking piece. 
 
Oli
thanks guys
Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 29th June 2007
Comments much appreciated.  
 
Brian- I'll reply to your e-mail as soon as I get home (currently away). Your attention to my work is always appreciated. 
 
Phil- I try to avoid explaining my work in the intro so that it can be interpreted freely. I'd love to hear some of your interpretations. Did you want extra detail in the piece itself or just more info in general? 
 
Oli- wow, thank you! I think my writing has changed (hopefully improved) somewhat since I started at GW, but I've tried to retain a certain amount of truth and depth from the beginning. Nice to know someone thinks I've managed it!

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