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Poetry
Tyneham Echoes
By ellyb39
25 June 2007

Hello, not much posted lately so here we go..this is concerning a village in Dorset that was taken over by the military and never returned to the people.  Any comments will be very welcome. thanks elly


 

Filtered tree light slivers

over ruins of a life.

Churchyard greymarked garden

murmurs with the stream.

 

Dank earth slowly delivers

messages from the past.

Gently tapping my shoulder

whispering spirit survives.

 

Wraiths follow like a river

floating into our heads.

Memories growing colder

carried away by the tide.

 

Time seems almost to shiver

blending two worlds as one.

Coolness kissing my fingers

tracing between the stones.

 

Cottages bent and severed,

the children long since gone.

Only the birds make a haven

in brickwork worn and done.

 

Guns came through the heather

metal game of man, took this

place and stopped the clock,

ceasing life that they had known

Reviews

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 25th June 2007
Liked this Elly. You capture a sense of abandonment and even a sense of haunting by past inhabitants. There's an atmosphere within the words. 
 
The first two stanzas appeared a little disjointed, but after that it seemed to settle into a steady rhythm. 
 
Phil.

Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 26th June 2007
Hi Elly, I know Tyneham well from my Army days, you capture the desolation well, I liked this a good write, there used to be another village on Salisbury Plain which the Army took over years ago and never returned but for the life of me I can't remember the name. 
Bernie

Written by Lizzy (800 comments posted) 26th June 2007
You develop a great atmosphere and a lot of sadness. Sad how men can make beauty and destroy it. 
Lizzy

Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 29th June 2007
Agree with Phil, the first few stanzas seem a bit disjointed but the fourth stanza is lovely language-wise. I think a few more specifics would convey the mood a bit better, it's all a bit general; I feel you could be writing about any village, but I would like to know more about this one. I also feel that the last line would be better as "ceasing life as they had known."  
Good work :)

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