F: " Hey Aedan, there's a bloke at the beach mumbling about some deity who killed his son because some lass took a bite of his apple."
A: " Must have had a severe blow on the head. He's a blue dog then?"
F: " Aye. Roman or Briton or something. Can't pronounce his name."
A: " Let's go and see him."

A: " Hey lad, yes you, in the brown gown. Need any help?"
P: " Ah, natives. Hello, dear sirs. I am Patricius, soon to be patron saint of this lovely island."
A: " Bah-tricky-ooze? Quite a name for a saint. Besides we already have one, called... What was it again Fergus?"
F: " Al Adios. Something like that. I can't pronounce Roman names."
P: " Paladius, you mean?"
A: " Yes, that's the bloke. But we're Old-Irish see, we don't do that P-thingie. That's British."
F: " I'm not old!"
A: " That's what they'll call us in a few thousand years, amadan! Somewhere in the Middle Ages they're going to mess up our language and then some Jerries are going to conquer us, or Frogs or whatever. Anyway they'll wipe out most of our ancient tongue, and the remnant will be turned into Gaelic."
F: " So we'll be a member of the EU?"
A: " Oh yes. Subsidies and stuff. Only they'll start nagging over abortion."
P: " And polygamy."
A: " Yes that too, but that's your fault, mister Tricky-ooze."
P: " Patricius please."
A: " Told you we can't say that. We're Q-Celts see, not P-Celts."
P: " Just try it. In a few centuries you'll all be called Paddies."
A: " You wish. So what's your business here?"
P: " Well, I'll light a fire in front of Tara's hall and it'll consume your island."
F: " Can we bring marshmellows?"
P: " Oh, it's just a metaphor. I came to bring the word of the Lord our Saviour."
A: " That's the guy we never heard of, but whose death caused poor old Conchobar of Emain a stroke eh?"
P: " Exactly. And I'll go back in time to convert the Smith's Hound."
A: " Old Cu? Well I hope he's in a cheerful mood then. Don't mention Fand and when his hair gets spikey, get out of there."
P: " I will. So gentlemen, before I'll go to Tara, can you give me a hand? I'll have to toss all snakes into the sea first."