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Poetry
Hints
By Fledermaus
27 June 2007
How to drop a subtle hint
That makes a feeling clear
Without having to loose a friend?
For that is what I fear

What if she doesn't feel the same
Would that spoil a good relationship?
It would be a terr'ble shame
If that were a sinking ship

I won't die if you reject me
Although I would prefer a kiss
Your friendship is important, see
Even though you're such a pretty miss

I hope you'll take this the right way
Whatever way you do reply
I guess both options are okay
The positive one might make me cry

Of joy... Perhaps?



Reviews

Written by fellpony (1597 comments posted) 27th June 2007
Aww, Fledermaus, you nice thing.  
 
The poem's not one of your best though, is it? particularly the last line - I'm sure since you set off with a tight structure it would work to get that last thought woven into the last verse rather than leaving it on its own.  
 
I smiled at  
"I won't die if you reject me 
Although I would prefer a kiss"  
 
Very practical of you. (Don't you know that rejected poets are supposed to wring their hands, tear their hair and throw themselves into the Zuider Zee?) And very sweet. 
 
I hope she says Yes.

Written by Phil (6675 comments posted) 27th June 2007
I won't die if you reject me 
Although I would prefer a kiss - wouldn't we all! Loved these two lines. 
 
With FP on this one. Not your best F - but good luck when you pluck up courage to drop your hint.  
:grin  
 
All the best, 
 
Phil.

Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 28th June 2007
Thanks Sue and Phil, 
Not my best poem indeed, but I enjoyed writing it ;)

Written by DevotedWriter (8 comments posted) 5th July 2007
aww i really enjoyed reading that. The last line was good, nice effect :grin

Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 5th July 2007
Thanks DevotedWriter :)

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