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Poetry


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Jewels for Jules 2

By Talisker

27 June 2007

Jewels for Jules 2

Bewitch me Cornish dancing girl

undulate your fruitful hips

play a smile across your lips

entice me with your childish eyes

Disarm me Cornish dancing girl

make me laugh when I might cry

show me where our love might lie

help me be a man again

Hold me Cornish dancing girl

tender in the midst of night

when the banshees take to flight

safe and warm for ever

Love me Cornish dancing girl

find room in your little heart

let us never be apart

take me for your own

Be mine Cornish dancing girl

let my soul be filled with pride

when my Cornish blushing bride

dances with me

Oli (27/06/07)

Reviews

Written by Phil (6675 comments posted) 27th June 2007

Very personal piece to crit - but I hope you're sharing these with Jules and not just us. Liked the pattern. If I was female, named Jules and sat on your lap - I might just melt. (As I'm a hairy Yorkshireman, I doubt that'll come to pass.)

All the best Oli.

Phil

Hi
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 28th June 2007

a very lovely write.

a question, do they have banshees in cornwall?

Jewels for Jules 2
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 28th June 2007

That Jules must be a pretty special lady Oli if she can inspire such lovely writing. I like the flow of the piece very much reminding me of John Donne's "Go and catch a falling star, get with child a mandrake root."
Although the girl is Cornish, the setting could be anywhere - hence the Banshees as opposed to Piskies!
Cliff

Written by fellpony (1597 comments posted) 28th June 2007

strong structure and technique as always Oli - with a tender message particularly poignant in "help me be a man again". I would not presume to comment on the content, which is very personal and vulnerable.

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