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Poetry
Remembrance
By maipenrai
28 June 2007
The remembrance
was a time of flowers
each one seemed to wilt
as if in distress,
No tears my mother would say,
your father was a hero
he fought a holy war.

a holy war you say mother
I do not know
I do not remember him,
my father died in a foreign land
for what, I do not know,
all I know mother
is what you tell me
you see
I have no memories
to call my own.

Reviews

Written by philkent (157 comments posted) 28th June 2007
I hate reviewing peoples poetry because I'm not a poet myself but this was lovely, right on the ball, simply expressed. 
 
Beautiful.
memories
Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 28th June 2007
Lovely poem. Just shows the futility of war and how children are affected by it, remembering only through other people's eyes. 
 
I'm in no position to act as a reviewer, and to me a lot of modern poetry reads more like prose, but this I felt was a beautiful piece of poetry. 
 
audrie

Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 28th June 2007
For me (and remember I'm not a poet either) this is your best effort so far. It captures an individual emotion that expresses a wider truth. There are things that I think (Like I'd know) could be tightened up, but it's probably churlish to put them here.  
 
With Audrie - lovely. 
 
Phil.

Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 29th June 2007
Phil, Audrie, thank you both for your comments. 
Bernie

Written by Chelle (9 comments posted) 29th June 2007
This tugged on the heart strings, so much emotion in here. This really was beautifully penned. 
 
Chelle x

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