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Crime and Thriller
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Diary of a Wannabe Part 7
By wltshr
28 June 2007

Just a short piece to keep any vague interest alive.



If this carries on I'll end up like poor old Adolf. He topped six million and no one knew about it at the time. It must have driven him bonkers. At least now we recognise his contribution. Like any artist, recognition post mortem. 

So. Nursery Rhymes or Freezers? That is the question. Perhaps a notelet to the News of the World or Percy Plod might get things moving. Liquid paraffin for their little grey cells perhaps.  


Dear Editor 

You reported recently on a missing young lady by the name of Georgina A. and another by the name of Polly B. I've not written before as I feared you may consider me just a silly old woman with too much time on my hands.  I read with interest the details you published regarding young Polly, from the tea-shop, and the way she just disappeared after finishing work, and also about the disgusting sexual proclivities of that horrid Georgina person.
 
I had a dream where their disappearances were linked in some way. I have to tell you that since I retired I've gained quite a reputation amongst the other ladies at the WI as being something of a psychic.  

In my dream, both of these ladies were being held in what appeared to be an Edwardian child's playroom, complete with a Mary Poppins type figure, with rhyming couplets written on all the walls. What could it mean? 

Yours sincerely Mrs Leia Little. 


Too vague for them? Initially, of course, but with follow up letters, and my "dreams"  becoming more detailed they must catch on eventually.


Dear Plod 

The body found in a freezer at a council dump.

Did it have a used by date on it’s bottom?

Was she frigid? 

It’ll be a cold day in hell before you catch me. 

Yours Iceman.  


How to choose? Eeny Meeny Miney Mo. Catch a..... Of course! That might be fun. A little girlie schwarzer. It fits perfectly with the nursery rhymes but isn't so blindingly obvious that it wouldn't fit nicely if I went with the freezer motif. Chicken George? Thanks, Mildred, I don't mind if I do! It'll throw any profiler into absolute confusion.  

Reviews
Hey, Fabwit!!!
Written by stevetroster (1398 comments posted) 28th June 2007
Oh, this is easily the best one yet, the psychotic mind just shines through in this short piece. 
Job done I feel. 
 
Best wishes 
Steve. 

Written by philkent (157 comments posted) 28th June 2007
I loved this, I'm really building up a picture in my mind of the saucy beast but I wont speculate in case I'm wrong. 
 
You have evoked me to peakage. 
 
Great read.
Confused
Written by wltshr (300 comments posted) 28th June 2007
How the hell did that happen. I thought this too short and added a paragraph at the beginning. Steve and Phil you both managed to review while I was doing it.  
 
I'm glad you both enjoyed it but would like to know your opinions on whether the new paragraph works as well, as it's a little off topic but tells a little more about the man himself. 
 
Thanks again 
 
Wltshr 
 

Written by philkent (157 comments posted) 28th June 2007
I liked it, the idea of the merciless killer mercy killing gives him a bit more depth and some contradiction, makes him all the more frighteningly human.

Written by stevetroster (1398 comments posted) 28th June 2007
Drop the paragraph, it is too far towards a comedy scene.

Written by wltshr (300 comments posted) 28th June 2007
Hmm. A conundrum. Thanks for making it so easy for me.  
 
Phil: I certainly want to make him fairly likeable which would create a dilemma for the reader. But????? 
 
Steve: your idea of comedy must be a little darker than that of the common herd. Although I do know what you're saying. 
 
What to do? 
 
Thanks  
 
Wltshr

Written by stevetroster (1398 comments posted) 28th June 2007
I realise that the ‘Diary’ is meant to be comedy psychosis, I just feel that the first paragraph detracts from this chapters quite wonderful view of his mindset. 
Use the first paragraph somewhere else. 
Now stop badgering me. 
Best wishes 
Steve

Written by Phil (6383 comments posted) 28th June 2007
As a stand alone read, the badgering part was very, very good. For me it fitted in well with the rest - but that's your call. Anything that makes the reader laugh is going to be hard to lose. 
 
Still enjoying this. Keep them coming. 
 
Phil.

Written by Lizzy (781 comments posted) 28th June 2007
His character is developing quite nicely and in a strange way I do like him, even though I know I shouldn't. 
Not sure that the first paragraph is right here. Well written but I found myself liking him slightly less, I suppose I felt he was relishing killing the badger, I know that's how he feels when killing women but it seems different. 
Nevertheless still very enjoyable. 
Lizzy

Written by wltshr (300 comments posted) 29th June 2007
After thinking long and hard about this I have to agree with Steve. And thanks to Phil for helping me by being enthusiastic about the first paragraph and confirming that it works as a standalone read. 
 
I'm not convinced that it fits in at this part of the narrative but may well resurface at a later date. Sorry PhilK. 
 
Thanks for your support with this Lizzy. It gets so few reviews, (possibly because of where it is), that I keep wondering whether it's worth continuing with. 
 
Best, as ever 
 
Tony

Written by Lizzy (781 comments posted) 29th June 2007
You can't stop now!!!!!! 
Lizzy

Written by wltshr (300 comments posted) 30th June 2007
Lizzy: This is the most encouraging review I've ever received. Thank you. 
 
Tony
!!!!
Written by Dark_Angel (53 comments posted) 19th September 2007
I LOVE IT! Keep it up, man! I'm so into it!!

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