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Poetry
Safe in his arms
By Chelle
29 June 2007

I know that people, especially those who've suffered first hand, write about abuse and the effects it has on them- I do it myself. But this time, I wanted to write something different. I ended up writing about how the person who loves the victim can be affected.

Chelle


He looked to the woman, who had long ago stolen his heart,
And remembered the way they had been at the start,
It had never been easy though not always quite like this,
And the sound of her laughter, by now, he did miss.


He reached out for her hand, held it tightly in his own,
Offered her comfort alongside compassion he'd always shown,
Pulled her in close, and he felt her vulnerable body shake,
And as her tears soaked his shirt, he felt his own heart break.

Could a man like himself ever truly be enough?
Could he rectify the past through his offer of love?
Could he erase the pain from her memories, taken from long ago,
If he stood by her side, and never let her go?


He looked at her face, crumpled with agonising pain,
And secretly questions, if she'll ever feel safe again,
He could love her, support her, but could never understand,
The torture she endured, the hurt that still stands.


In what way could he help her but to stand by her side,
When she's feeling low, and broken inside,
How could he dry her tears, if she could never move on,
He could offer her strength, but found it hard to be strong.


He knew of her suffering, and wanted to help her so much,
So she didn't remember them, when it was his hands that would touch,
For when he embraced her, it was love and not greed,
And he would give all he could, provide for her every need.


Sometimes he wished she could talk to him, as a lover and best friend,
Because he would listen, and be there for her to no end,
He found it so hard to live with someone, who locked herself away,
Scared of being hurt, unknowing he would never walk away.


She fell asleep in his arms, and spent the night there,
Tears had given way to tiredness, how he wish she knew he cared,
He held her close, and held her tight in his arms,
And whispered in her ear, "With me you'll know no harm.."

Reviews

Written by fellpony (1749 comments posted) 29th June 2007
Hello CHelle 
 
I thought at first you were going to tackle this from the point of view of the abuser - who often states that s/he loves the victim. This doesn't bite, for me, because it disappoints: it isn't clear (without your intro) quite what the POV is - abuser, or third party? 
 
The rhythm and rhyme scheme look as thought they ought to be polished, but the roughness of the rhythm reveals that the rhymes have been forced.  
 
Typo in last verse: how he wish she knew = how he wished she knew? 
 
I think there could be a good poem in here, but there are far too many words, at the moment, to be effective. I know this will sound odd but in a lot of ways this is prose, rather than poetry; it isn't distilled experience or thought or emotion, not yet. 
 
Others will no doubt have more to suggest.

Written by Phil (7001 comments posted) 29th June 2007
Welcome to GW Chelle. 
 
A difficult subject to tackle, and the purpose of the piece comes through, but I can't disagree with Fellpony. The first verse gives a clue to the forced rhymes with the slightly twisted syntax: he did miss instead of the simple and usual he missed. 
 
Interesting subject to choose. 
 
Phil. 
 

Written by Chelle (9 comments posted) 29th June 2007
Thanks to both of you for commenting, I will take what you have said on board and try to better my others.  
 
Chelle x

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